‘You two are just too much,” Lewis said with a smile as he ruffled Remy’s hair. “You had no interest until your belly was full didn’t you.” Remy was quite the little rascal.

Darren laughed, “Okay, okay. Now for what we actually came for. He looked around the shop, making sure they were the only ones present. “You have the…thing?”

The shopkeep looked around, and nodded. “It’s in the back of the shop. Just made. She’s a real beauty…”

Lewis blinked. “What…what exactly are we-”

“SHHH.” Darren motioned for them to keep quiet and follow them. They entered the back of the store where, in a dimly lit room, was a large piece of work that was covered in a leather tarp. “So this is it?”

“Aye,” the shopkeep said as he pulled the tarp off, revealing a massive silver statue.

Lewis stared blankly at it for a good minute. “Is that…supposed to be me?”


“Happy Birthday, Lewis!” Darren said extravagantly. “Isn’t it perfect?”

“…”

“What? Do you…not like it?” Darren asked. “We can always-”

“But why am I naked?”

Mone started to laugh right away but then she got serious as she handed Damond over to Darren. She inspected the statue. “This is more of a gift for me than for Lewis.”

Darren chuckled, “I think it would look great in your foyer.”

“No, no… I want it in my office at the guild. IMAGINE IT DARREN! Lewis who is the star of my sex novels!” Simone did a fainting expression. “Hundreds of women who comes to see me can see Lewis’s blessed physique all the while I don’t tell them that’s my husband.”

Darren nodded, “It is truly a masterpiece… WE SHOULD PUT IT IN THE GARDEN!”

Simone clapped her hands, “That is perfect! I’ve been thinking about building a fountain! We can have Lewis be the centerpiece!”

Lewis stared at the two, and it took him a moment to realize that the resonance was partially cut. They were fucking with him. Hard. And to think, he almost believed every word of it.

“This…isn’t funny, you two,” Lewis said with an annoyed look across his face. “Absolutely not funny. I’d much rather have the duel with the Canary again over this…” But the boys, who more or less had no idea what was going on, seemed to think the situation was funny.

“Dada!” they said, pointing at the silver statue.

“Oh no,” Lewis started. “Your adorableness does not win out in this situation.” He looked at Simone. “I’m melting it. We can have it made into a naked statue of you and put that in the garden instead…”

Simone laughed a bit harder than she should have at Lewis’s reaction. “Rhen would never leave our garden.”

Darren started to crack up laughing, “I don’t think Avery or Llywellyn would leave the garden either.”

“Darren asked me for help after you soaked his bedsheets in fish… The seals kept invading his house for weeks until he figured out what you were doing… We had a seal infestation because of you. Though it was pretty funny…”

“Don’t think I haven’t forgotten you helped him do it…” Darren looked at Simone.

“…You took me past the brothel on purpose!”

“Yeah…” Darren smirked. “I did.”

“EVIL! LEWIS! HE’S EVIL!”

Lewis eyed Darren, “Don’t forget I know where you sleep.”

Darren smirked, “And I know where you do too.”

“This set up was uncalled for,” Lewis replied. “I say we vote Darren off the island. All in favor?”

“Me!” Simone said immediately.

“ME!” Remy said, copying his mother.

“MEME!” Damond replied, not to be shown up by his own brother.

“Me as well!” Lewis said. “All in favor of him staying? No one?”

“Don’t I get a vote?” Darren pleaded.

“No,” Lewis replied with a smirk. “Looks like you’re voted off the island. Good luck with your new prospects.”

“…Guess I’ll just let the world know where you are then,” Darren replied with a shrug.

“Guess I’ll just kill you.” Lewis replied darkly.

Simone looked at Darren and then at Lewis. “I’ll be right back.” She left Darren holding Remy. The resonance had cut out. Two seconds later Sara came running into Darren.

“DARREN! I knew it was love at first sight! I don’t know you but I heard you are built like LEWIS!”

“Congrats on your wedding~” Simone chuckled a bit as she took her son from Darren.

“SIMONE!” Darren was bright red as he looked at Lewis. “DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR WIFE LEWIS!” Sara tackled Darren.

Lewis smirked. On the outside it seemed like he was having a rather tame reaction, but through the re-connected resonance, Simone could feel that he was barely holding it together, feelings of laughter almost overwhelming her immediately.

“Seems like you’re getting what you deserve, Darren,” Lewis said as he picked Damond out of Darren’s hands. “I wish you a very happy matrimony.” Without another word, he shoved Darren into the now frantic Sara’s loving embrace. Without a word, he and Simone slipped through a gateway, abandoning Darren to his fate.

“Was that mean? Probably,” Lewis stated as they walked into Remy and Damond’s room, placing the boys down for their nap. “But it was fun. I wonder how long that will take to sort out…” He smirked. “Hopefully long enough to set up another prank in his house…”

Seal of Approval

Darren was staring at the southern end of the island where he had made his home. “You two… are the worst.”

“We just wanted seagulls… This is…”

There were hundreds of seals now laying about their island sunbathing.

“I think they like it here…” Simone said. “They are aggressive though.”

They had tried to use Rex to get rid of them but they had bit Rex. “I guess we should call Xeik?”

“Oh… Xeik is the Divine Mender… Talking to creatures should be a strong point.” Simone looked at Lewis. “He’s not going to forgive us for this one. He’s going to think we’re fishy.”

“Oh, he really won’t forgive you if you start using puns again,” Darren spoke up as he looked at his lovely seal-infested cottage. “I haven’t been able to live in my house for a week.”

It was quite easy to get ahold of Xeik, and he arrived shortly thereafter. He was greeting by Silva and Henry, and immediately offered tea as they sat down to discuss the problem at hand. It was Xeik who started the conversation off, taking a sip of the perfectly made beverage.

“So you said you had a ‘seal’ problem,” Xeik stated. “Do you know what kind of magic we’re talking? I can see mana lines, but it would be easier to attack this problem wi-”

Lewis cleared his throat. “Erm, that’s not…the kind of seal. We’re having a different problem.”

Xeik stared at Lewis for a moment, confused. “If you’re talking about weathering seals, isn’t that more of a Kalina question?” He seemed genuinely confused on why he had been summoned here if it wasn’t a magical related problem at hand.

Simone waved her hands at Xeik, “No… No… We’re talking about the…”

She made a face for a moment and looked away with a blush before she started to clap her hands and making a ton of seal noises. The twins who weren’t far started to mimic her. “That kind of seal problem.”

She looked up at Lewis and Xeik who were just staring at her. “WHAT?! HE wasn’t going to get it.” She shrugged now and covered her face. “We got exotic fish that smelled really bad and put it all over Darren’s house as a prank. It was supposed to have the gulls attack him. Instead… Well… You’ll see what happened.”