Lewis couldn’t taste the alcohol in the punch. For whatever reason, he just couldn’t tell the difference. As the night went on, he started to wonder if he was getting tired. Weird things were happening, but he barely cared. Suddenly he felt warm…good…

“Let me see…that one girl at the brothel. What was her name…the one with the big breasts?”

“Lucia?”

“No…The other one. Right, Cynthia! Her. She’s fantastic.”

“No, no, no…the ideal woman is tall. With a nice ass.” Darren crossed his arms. “Definitely not Cynthia. Her backside is as flat as a board.” He smirked. “I know what Lewis’ ideal woman is, though…” He was grinning as Lewis’ eyes lit up for a second. He could tell just how drunk the assassin was.

“Yeah? Cause she’s sitting next to me,” Lewis said as he slammed his cup down.

“What, Simone? But she barely has a-”

“HER BREASTS LOOK AMAZING, SHUT UP OR I’LL KILL YOU,” Lewis said as he fell out of his chair, reaching for a dagger.

“…how…much did he drink?”

Darren started count, “…nine cups?”

“NINE CUPS!?”

“He’s toasted…”

“Ideal woman…she has a nice butt too…” Lewis mumbled into the floor.

Simone’s face was bright red by the end of it all. “He’s so drunk…” She was touching her face trying to decide if she should help her silly assassin. “I know what will make you feel better while you yell at them.” Lewis looked up at her with big eyes.

The small woman got off of her stool and sat on the floor. He was like a puppy. She pat her thighs and Lewis practically crawled onto her lap and laid his head on her thighs. “He’s so drunk…” Lewis reached up and cupped her face. Mone leaned her face into his hand and smiled.

“SHE’S THE BEST!” Lewis yelled at the other boys which just made Simone cringe a bit.

“I’m only the best to you…” Simone sighed a bit.

For Lewis. This was heaven. Of course, he was so drunk that he would likely not remember the night’s events. And when he was sober, he’d threaten anyone who even dared mention what happened.

So, for the night, the rest of the acolytes in their group merely enjoyed the spectacle of a drunk Lewis and an embarrassed Simone as she did her best to take care of him.

“Simone…” Lewis said as he bolted up suddenly. “I can do a flip. I’ll show you how to…” He stood up somehow, stumbling over to the table. “Here, let me…” He climbed up and spread his arms. “See…watch.”

To everyone’s surprise, he did a perfect backflip, completely sticking the landing. “See…backflip. Now you tr-” He immediately stumbled, and fell backwards into one of the larger acolytes, spilling his drink. “Oh…hey…you should watch…watch where you’re going…”

Simone gave him a clap as he did a backflip. “Wow… You did so good Lewis.” It was like giving praise to a toddler. She was glaring at Darren. “You let him drink all that punch?!”

“Didn’t he know?” Darren looked scared.

“No, otherwise he would have quit,” Simone scolded Darren. “Now I got a toddler for a boyfriend.”

The larger acolyte looked amused and Simone got up and took Lewis’s hand. “Come on trouble. You can show off to me over here. You know I’m not graceful enough or flexible enough for backflips.”

“Oh but you ARE flexible, Simone…especially when you wrap your-”

Simone immediately clapped her hand over Lewis’ mouth, her eyes wide with terror as he continued talking. At this point, Lewis had made enough of a spectacle that there were plenty of people paying attention to his shenanigans. Once she felt that he had stopped talking, she slowly let her hand drop.

“YOU’RE FLEXIBLE WHEN WE FUC-”

Once again, Simone slammed her hand over Lewis mouth with a resounding clap. “Maybe..we should leave…”

“Mmmhppphhmmm” Lewis grumbled. It was obvious that he didn’t want to leave. He hadn;t had the chance to proclaim that Simone was amazing to enough acolytes yet.

Simone’s face was completely red as Darren was laughing so hard. “Okay, I’m going to lower my hand but if you say anything about our sex acts… I won’t give you ANY tonight or tomorrow. Do you understand me?”

The other acolytes felt almost bad for Lewis. There was an immediate pout on his face at her that they found actually really cute. The resting bitch face Lewis was actually showing how he felt to Simone.

“Do not give me that look,” Simone’s eye twitched. “It’s not going to work this time. You are being a bad boy for mentioning what we do in your room.”

"He pouts at you?" The acolytes asked.

"Sometimes but you wouldn't be able to tell normally. I can tell because I've spent enough time with him," Simone gave a grin as she was pretty proud of herself.

Lewis sighed as he tried tos tumble away. “Fine…I won’t mention our amazing sex life anymore. I’ll just…” He frowned. “I’ll just…uhhh…” He suddenly stood up straight, smirking. “Yeah! I can say what a wonderful…person she is. Like…how she can knit things…and how she tends to my tit…”

“Your,,,what?” Darren asked.

“His bird,” Jack responded. “This…might be the happiest moment of my liffe.”

“He’ll kill you if you ever mention it,” Darren replied with a smirk.

“I know…” the apprentice potion maker replied solemnly. “I will have to keep this moment ingrained in my heart and memory for all time though…”

Simone was smacking her forehead. “He’s talking about Snowball. The little white bird who flies around.” She sighed a bit and pet his hair. “He’ll seriously kill you so be careful Jack.”

Then Simone got a good idea, “Hey Lewis.” She looked up at him with big eyes. “What would you do if someone tried to steal me?”

“I’d… Fucking kill them!” He tried to go for his dagger and spun around falling down. “Mine.” He clung to her leg and that got a laugh out of the acolytes.

“Yes, yours.” She chuckled a bit and was happy with this obvious public display of affection that Lewis was having.

“Forever?” Lewis looked up at her with big eyes.

“For as long as you’ll keep me.”

“Forever then.” Lewis sounded happy as he clung to her.

“I’m going to need help getting him to our room.” Simone sighed a bit. “He’s never going to make it up the stairs.”

“The couch is fine,” Lewis said.

“The couch is definitely not fine,” Simone put her hands on her hips.

“We do it on the couch all the time,” Lewis said innocently.

“I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT SEX! I am talking about us going to bed,” Simone facepalmed.

“YOU SAID YOU WOULDN’T TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME TONIGHT.”

“Oh for the love of Raith,” Simone groaned.

“You’ve created a monster now Simone,” Darren chuckled.

They got him up to bed and Simone helped him change. However, once she got his shirt off he pounced her and ripped her dress. She easily gave in now that they were alone. In the morning she snuggled up to him and pulled the blankets up on them. “How’s your head?”

Lewis woke up slowly, groaning. “Why am I naked…” He looked to the snuggled Simone, and groaned as a spike of pain surged through his skull. “…what…the fuck happened…” He could remember the afterparty, and then…

“That bastard must have spiked my drinks,” Lewis said suddenly and a little too loud for his own good. He winced. “No…he wouldn’t dare.” There had to be a better explanation than that. “Simone…I demand an explanation of everything that happened last night. Leave out absolutely no details…”

“…Because you demanded sex from me. You tore my dress off and tossed me like a pillow,” Simone knew this was coming.

“He didn’t spike your drinks. He didn’t realize you didn’t want the alcoholic punch and you hadn’t said anything so we didn’t stop you.” She sat up and winced a bit from a few bite marks that Lewis had left on her. “For the love of Angela,” Simone looked at all her bruises and bite marks. “You seriously… SERIOUSLY did a lot last night. You kept me up for five hours drunk as shit. You kept yelling that everyone needed to know I was yours.”

There was a look of judgment in her eyes. “Okay, I’ll tell you everything that you did.” So she started to tell him EXACTLY what he did. “And now here we are. I barely got Darren out the door before you threw me. You were yelling BUT YOU PROMISED.”