Xeik rolled his eyes at how immature both of them were being, but then remembered that this was all in the past. They had both grown up so much from that point, and it almost made Xeik feel proud of them. But, the memories shifted once more to the day where Simone was killed.

From Simone’s point of view, there were a myriad of emotions swirling in her heart. A longing for release mixed with the fear of the unknown. She was happy that it was finally going to be over, but saddened because of the feelings in her heart, the love she felt for Lewis. As the sun rose, Simone’s throat was slit, and the life she held was released…and then nothing.

“So…that was supposed to be the end of it all,” Xeik said. “But then Lewis brought her back. But…the way Angela set the spell up…she had to have wanted to come back. There were feelings of regret for letting go so easily. And feelings of guilt for making Lewis work to bring her back…” He sighed. “But that was his choice too. He shared that burden…he regretted not stopping you. Even I know that.”

The memories swirled again, and they were in front of the Terrowin Castle, only it seemed barren and run down. Xeik looked at it curiously. Raile was showing them around, trying to make the sale, and Lewis was talking to her about starting a family.

Simone was bursting into tears immediately at the start of the memory. “Lewis… Angela told me… She told me she couldn’t fix me.” The amount of regret that was forming and the fear of being abandoned because of it. It was the darkest shadow swirling in her.

“I want to start an orphanage.” Lewis immediately told her and hugged her. “We can adopt as many kids as we want.”

“All the babies?”

“Yes…” Lewis was clearing her tears and gave her a loving kiss to the forehead. Children were her one weakness.

Something happened though with the darkness. It swirled around him as another door seemed to open. It was colder, lonelier… It was almost like ice. Simone was shivering. Her hands and legs were chained to the wall. She looked weak and malnourished.

“It’s that time again princess…” A man came in with a whip and undoing his pants. “If you fight… You know what happens.”

“Fuck you,” Simone spit at him. Simone was immediately whipped against her thighs. It went deep as the blood came out. Her screaming filled his ears as she was in pain. “This is nothing!” She spit again at the man.

“You shouldn’t be here Xeik…” It was Simone as he was forced out.

Xeik was dragged out of the memory, and now face to face with the real Simone. The other two were behind her, looking sheepish as though they had been failures in guarding the dark place.

“Well…that’s something you haven’t shared,” Xeik said as he looked at her. “I can understand if you weren’t ready for it, but…” He thought for a moment. “You haven’t shown that to Lewis, have you.” It wasn’t a question. He knew very well that she had hidden those painful memories. “You can’t bear the thought of them either…how could you share them.” He sighed. “Just from what I saw…it seemed very painful…not just the physical pain, either…”

The healer sighed. “Well…I won’t force you to share it but…if I were you, I’d consider at least talking about it. If not with me, then Lewis. Hell…even Angela. At least someone you trust…” There it was again…that word. Trust.

Simone was glaring at the girls but sighed. “I don’t like to think about it Xeik. Those were the first seven years of my imprisonment to the Fey Lord. I’ve told both of you about it but not the context of it.”

She let out a sigh and the girls got brave.

“You need to tell Lewlew! He won’t judge you!”

“Or love you any less! He loves all of you! Even us!”

Simone looked at the two of them, “Why are you two always so right?”

“Because we’re not scared of letting our Lewlew in!” The guide yelled and nodded to the younger one.

“That trusting nature the two of you have…”

“He’s our Lewlew… He would never use it to hurt us.”

Simone made a face knowing they were right. “Fine… Fine… I will do more… I will show him.”

“Promise?”

“I… promise.” Simone looked a bit hurt to be ganged upon. “You must have other questions for me after seeing all that?” She looked at Xeik.

Xeik nodded as the two other Simone’s pressured herself into showing Lewis the memories. It was amusing to watch, admittedly. “Hope and sanity indeed…” He smiled. “You three really are special….”

As to Simone’s question about if Xeik had more to ask. That was going to be hard. “I, orf course, have plenty of questions, Simone. But I can’t pressure you into telling me. I don’t want to force you…I want you to tell me when you’re ready.” He thought for a moment as he tried to phrase the question right. “Those memories of the younger Lewis… he treated you a lot differently than he does now. Is that why you’re so worried to open up to him?”

Simone tilted her head and sighed a bit, “I can answer now. Since these two are pressuring me into it but they are right it is good for us.”

The memories were in her head and she closed her eyes, “Do you know what it's like watching from the inside out and not being able to do anything about it until moments before your death? I wasn’t always the one in control… She was.” She pointed to the younger Simone. “It was her and the Guide who fell in love with Lewis, not me. That didn’t come until later. I hated him. I really did but he grew as a person. He knows all of this from me. The last week before he killed me was the only time I ever got to spend with Lewis before he killed me. The year we were together? He wasn’t with me he was with her.”

There was a breath, “We were strangers but also not. The resonance was weak at that point so I felt the pull. I loved him before I knew it. Before that week but I can’t tell you when. But it wasn’t me he first fell in love with.”

Xeik looked at the two younger versions of Simone, and then back to Simone. He let out a sigh. “This is going to sound unprofessional but…Simone. You said yourself that they’re a part of you…it doesn’t matter that he fell for them first. They’re a part of you, and he fell for you.” He had heard the major points from Angela, and basically knew this, but he didn’t realize that Simone was dwelling on it, even after all this time. The healer definitely had his work cut out for him.

“You know how many times he’s said that stupid phrase to me? How is it… ‘Simone is Simone.’ You three act differently, but deep down, you all three are Simone, are you not? All three aspects of the same person. That’s the way he sees it, and always has. It’s not that any of you came first, or last…it’s not like one is better than the other. It’s all you.”

The younger Simone lightly slapped the real one upside the head. “What he said! You can’t keep holding yourself back.”

“It’s not about holding myself back. I created the different parts of me a long time ago. Wouldn’t it make sense that I view them as separate from myself? Even if they are not?” She crossed her arms. “It’s just going to take a while to stop thinking like that… Isn’t that the solution? It’s not as easy as it sounds.”

She ruffled her own hair and sighed a bit. “I’m at a loss what to do with myself. Some days I just feel lost because I haven’t lived in so long. The last ten years or so have been great but they don’t make up for everything I’ve been forced to sit through and idly watch. It's just a process… which clearly I am struggling in.”

Xeik sighed. Simone was doing quite well, but she still had a long way to go. Her self doubt was something that was hard to overcome, and he had little room to blame her. He had lost himself in a similar form of doubt, and had nearly paid the ultimate price for it. He closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. There had to be a solution for this, even if it was one that needed work.

“Well…I have an idea,” Xeik said as he opened his eyes. “But it would take the three of you agreeing, and…I assume Lewis would need to agree as well.” He wondered if they would accept his solution. “What if…the three of you became one again? Simone…the split you made was to protect yourself. Is the reason that they exist because you’re still scared that you need them? By merging into one again…that would be accepting that you don’t need to hide behind them anymore, and that you can trust yourself wholly. But that means that you need to work on your self image. See yourself as the whole package…”

“See yourself like Lewis sees you,” he said after a moment. “Does that make sense?”

Simone struggled with what he said for a moment and nodded, “We’ll discuss it with Lewis…” He had always said ‘Simone is Simone’ but would he be okay with losing them? Technically, they would still be there…

“I’m always scared I’m going to need them again for whatever reason. Things happen to us all the time. Just like how Lewis gets tired of my past coming to haunt us… so do I Xeik. I get scared that I’ll get taken away and damaged. Lewis has saved me every time it’s happened…”

“I’d be okay with it,” the little guide spoke.

“Me too! If it will help!”

Simone looked at a candle present nearby and then at Xeik, “It’s almost time. Is there anything else you wanted to talk about or find out about the resonance before Lewis takes back over?”