There once was a lad named Roger Walker Quite the charmer, and quite the talker, Fair lady Linda did catch his eye, So he took her back to the inn to pork her Walker, talker, poooork her! Sweet Linda’s father was of noble ranking, And bought the guards with his gold from banking, And Roger was this way forced to flee, To escape a good ol’ fashioned shanking Ranking, banking, shaaaanking! Roger did eastward point his travel, Working a ship ‘twas shipping gravel, And Katya was named the bird he saw, In the mages’ city where minds unravel Travel, gravel, raaaavel! With sweet lil’ Katya, our Roger did flirt, Only to get beneath her robes’ skirt, And when he left, katya did get wroth And with magick she tried to make him so hurt Flirt, and skirt, and sooooo hurt! F leeing south ol’ Roger lusted, For a lady who an army mustered, Warrior-maiden Missho was she, But his silver tongue did leave her flustered Lusted, mustered, fluuuustered! Roger had mighty Missho bedded, To extacy they both were headed, But when her brother caught them sweet, He threatened to have Roger shredded Bedded, headed, Shreeeeded! So good ol’ Roger ran away once moooore, To the refuge of Vilapmolan’s shoooore, And there for the first time he found love, For a young, sweet, Vilapmolan whoooore, More, and shore, and whoooooore! And Roger did then try to play his game, But in pirate lands he was a man of fame, So the working girl didn’t trust a word And did not even give our man her name Game, and fame, and naaaame! And for the nameless girl Roger did so pine, As he’d never met a girl so fine, And then to him the girl was lost, To a most heinous and brutal crime Pine, so fine, the criiiiime Roger Walker was ne'er seen again, Some say he ne'er survived the pain, But a part of Roger lingers on, In three bastards he never knew he gained!