Raleigh drew in a breath as Raines face, once again, was so incredibly close to her own. She blinked a few times, her eyes moving from his eyes to his mouth to his eyes again, and for a moment she thought she was going to close the miniscule gap between the two. Instead, she breathed out quickly and turned away without saying anything hopping down off the table. She busied herself gathering up the supplies she had used to clean and dress his wounds, going to put the needle and thread back in their respective places.
She turned back to Raines from the drawer. ”I’m going to call it a night. Long day,” she said quietly, though the tone of her voice made it rather clear that she had many other things she had wanted to say. With that, she walked back to the table, grabbing her hat, and then towards the door, though when her hand found the handle, she paused. After a moment she turned back around and looked at Raines. ”No, you know what? I have some things to say to you,” she said. She didn’t sound angry or upset, but more serious than anything. Now seemed as good a time as any to say the things to him she had been thinking.
”This keeps happening, and you don’t seem to care - or maybe you do care! I don’t know what the hell to think any more,” she said, though she backtracked after a moment, realizing that she sounded utterly incoherent at first. ”Do you know how easy it would have been for me to kiss you just then?” she asked, looking him dead in the eye. ”God knows I want to - but I’m not going to. I won’t,” she said sternly, as though she were really telling herself that and not Raines. ”Ugh,” she said, clearly not sure how to proceed with the conversation. She tossed her hat down on the chair nearest the door in frustration, walking pointedly over to a cabinet and taking another bottle of rum, uncorking it and taking a large swig before walking back to her position by the door.
”You don’t get it, do you?” she asked, shaking her head and laughing quietly, though she did not find the situation amusing. She held the bottle of rum out, shaking it in front of her a little bit. ”It wasn’t just that night we planned today’s raid, no,” she said, looking at him for a moment before looking away. ”I want to kiss you, I want to do more than that, but… I can’t because you’re so fucking difficult to read!” she exclaimed, pointing a finger at him.
”You would think, after the time I have spent on this boat, I’d have a better idea of what you were thinking, but no,” she said. ”It’s like your thoughts are written in a different language. I’ve told myself, ‘Raleigh, if Raines had any inkling of you in that manner he’d have done something about it by now’ - but you haven’t, have you?” She dropped her hand to her side in exasperation, and she leaned back against the door.
”And before you go there, no, I was not trying to seduce you that night,” she said. ”I’ve never tried. I wouldn’t. I have certainly wanted to, but… you are, well, you,” she said, shrugging her shoulders. ”Every time we’re at a tavern and I see you with one of those barmaids, I keep thinking, ‘that could be me,’” she said softly.
She grew silent - after all, she had just practically told Raines how she had been feeling for quite some time. Her eyes dropped to the floor and she slouched back against the door, taking a drink of the rum. Though she had been drinking, she was in her right mind, and it had just been time for her to get all of it out in the open. After a moment she stood up straight again. ”And don’t you dare think you can hold this over my head! I’m not going to be all awkward around you - I won’t do it, I’m not one of those needy little women that requires validation,” she said, in an almost accusatory glance.
Throughout her ranting, she noticed Raines had remained generally silent. This worried her slightly. She knew she had taken a chance in revealing to him what he very well could have already known, but she had to do it. ”Well? Will you at least say something?” she said, looking at him with concern.