All that filled him was the smell of smoke.  It condensed and swirled into his lungs until he was forced to cough.  The first thing he noticed was the smell of fresh blood mixing with moistened soil.  The second was silence.  As his eyes opened he took in the bright flames, still licking at the buildings and posts around him.  This was familiar, all of it too familiar and he was shaking his head before he could realize what he was doing.  Ten years.  It had been ten years since this had happened and he had grown so confident in being able to hold it back that after so long of a break from it he wasn’t sure how to handle it.

When he swallowed he tasted the metallic tang of blood, but it wasn’t his own and it wasn’t consumed like the creatures he hunted.  Fearful eyes moved down, looking at his chest and breathing out a shaky sound of desperation when he saw how coated his flesh was in the blood of others.  Worse than that were the claw marks on his arms, shoulders, chest.  Each of them was different and as he ran his fingers along them he was able to see that some had been made by small hands…

Sick.  He felt absolutely sick and pushed up from the ground, caring not about the fact that his clothing was gone: burned away from the transformation as it always was.  Usually it was reduced to rags that barely hung on him but they had been purposefully removed by Minasé…no doubt to make the waking experience that much worse.  As if in a daze he wandered to a burning shop, pulling the first pair of pants from the wall that he could find.  It was as if his body was moving on its own, where really he was just in complete shock and unable to process what was happening.

He’d done everything, followed every step of his own code, kept watch for any shift in the other soul’s energy.  There had been no spike, no problems.  It dawned on him that his daemon had been waiting, plotting, being patient.  He didn’t like that, didn’t like that he was learning himself just as much as he was learning Minasé.  This added a whole new mark to the equation and he was too mentally exhausted to try and work through it.

He moved with slow footsteps through the roads of the city, with each passing of a building or street he realized that just like in his youth, no one had been left alive.  Some may have fled, but they would have been chased.  There wasn’t enough energy left to even put out the fires, when Minasé used, he used as much as he wanted. 

Flickers started to come back to mind, always looking through eyes that weren’t his, in the same place his daemon was while Naota was in control of their shared body.  Over the years he had seen his share of carnage, had been unfortunately the cause of it just like he was now, and no matter how often it happened it was never easier to handle.  He had just gotten better at cutting off his expressions.  

Severed bodies, electrified corpses, peoples’ insides being on their outsides…When it was from his own hands he could barely look.  It would just try and force the memories of it happening to bubble back up to the surface, and when he passed his first body of a child is when he had to sit down.  His breathing grew faster, shakier and his eyes closed, trying to find his center and ground himself but was unable to.

Holly had seen a number of things both great and dangerous. She had joined a travelling troupe. They were all dancing and singing. Their dancers were great ones from places like Abed! They had bards from all over Revaliir. She played on her special harp from her mother and sang as they walked. They mesmerized wherever they went. Now they were going through the highlands towards Mamlak. It was getting too close to home now.

"Holly you should leave your lover for me." There was always that one man though who made the troupe horrifying for her. He had a silver tongue that was quick to catch her attention and try to lure her in. "He leaves you all alone." He played his lute besides her and sang the words into her ear.

"If you do not watch where you are going… you are bound to trip." Holly stuck her leg out and he fell onto the ground. The dancers giggled as they took her away.

"He left you alone for how long? HOW LONG DID YOU HAVE TO WAIT?" His words froze her.

"And did he have to? Did he have to come get me? I had forced something onto him that no one should ever have to deal with. In that instance I was the one in the wrong because I was hurt by him. It is no one's fault but mine for how he felt. We are on better terms now because of it." She strummed her lute. "I do not like vile men so I suggest you sing that way." She pointed with the lute.

"FIRE THERE IS FIRE!" The troupe leader was yelling. That was one thing the collective of bards was good at. Being there to help. They rushed to the village and attempted to put out the flames. Holly rushed in and over turned bodies. Sometimes the electricity from what killed them went through her body. It caused her to wince and drop her harp. Still she continued until she got to the center of it all.

"Naota," his name better left her lips as she began to run past the bodies not even caring. "NAOTA." Her mother's words ran through her mind.

He is hiding something from you. When it comes you will know. A demon.

He had lost control. She remembered hearing something like that happening to Nymph too. It wans't Naota's fault. She fell down to her knees and hugged him. "Naota are you alright?"

"Holly, get away from him." It was the same bard as before. Holly's silver eyes looked up at him and shook her head. 

"I will not."

"The son of a bitch killed everyone here. Look around you. Rosenites protect children and yet your boyfriend killed them. You are going to forsake everything for him?" Was the man assuming? No but Holly knew envy and rage when she seen it.

"I won't move." She pulled Naota's body closer to her and kept him there. "I won't let you hurt him either." She could see the man's hand on his sword. He always had it for protection.

"Then I'll make you." He went over Naota and Holly took the sword to her side. The blood stained the white cloth of her dress. 

"You will not. Now leave." The sword left her and she put her hand to her side as she came back down to Naota's side. "Naota are you alright?"

"He's going to get you killed." The man threw his sword down and left with the rest of the troupe.

"Don't listen to him." She put her hands on his face trying not to mind the pain from her new wound. "It's going to be alright Naota."

He counted every breath as he took it in, then out, tried his best to pick up on the sounds around him that weren’t indicating destruction, but there was none.  Each crackle of the fire reminded him who had set it and why…Amidst it all he thought heard a familiar voice.  His eyes closed tighter, trying to keep himself from losing his reality: there was no reason any person he knew would have been anywhere near here.  And if so, they would have been put on display for him to find when he woke.  This wasn’t good: he was losing his sense of reality.

To try and aid his concentration he brought his hands together, fingertips over fingertips with a light grip, hoping that the circle made by his arms would help channel his energy faster and build it back up.  Not until he felt hands touching him did he realize that it wasn’t all in his head like he had thought.  She had been the last person he would have expected here though, and just knowing that she was someone he was friends with was enough for him to instantly be worried of another attack with her involved.  He barely heard the other man’s voice as he quickly shook his head to her, the words didn’t come but she needed to leave.

Already he could feel Minasé stirring and the barrier was so thin right now that if he pushed in just the right way he might have been able to come out.  He let his own hands go, stopping the flow of energy so as not to aid him further, but as he lifted his hands to grip her arms and move her away from him a flash of steel came between them.  His instant instinct was to attack, not normal for him but after such an episode he was less in control of his negative flair ups…luckily he didn’t have enough energy to do so, so the most he got was a harsh glare.

The blood on her clothing though…that got his attention more.  His hand moved quickly, cupping over the mark as his narrowed eyes moved to his receding back, concentrating as hard as he could to flicker away but unable to do so.  All he felt under his fingers and palm was blood…no healing.  There simply wasn’t enough left, he couldn’t even do those two simple things he did on nearly a daily basis.  Her hands touched his face and he instantly jerked back from her, hand leaving her side and pushing himself back a good two feet from her with his legs, “D-Don’t touch me.”  It was all he could get out and it was a much harsher tone than he would have liked had he been aware.  

I need to go.  But where?  And how?  Looking like this there was no way he would get picked up, and teleporting or even using gate travel was out of the question since he had no energy left.  Aside from that, he didn’t want to leave the village in ruin but there wasn’t much of a choice if he wanted to have any chance of healing.  None of them could be saved anyways…When he was able to use his power again then he’d come back to repair and bury the deceased, give them a proper rite…but right now he couldn’t.  All he could think about was putting as much distance between himself and others as he could.

Holly felt his hand to her wound. She wondered if he was trying to help her but for right now she wasn't worried. His words bothered her and for a moment she was hurt but she quickly set to pulling a blanket out and covering him up. "Don't be so silly. I already know what you are Naota. I've known for a long time now. I'm not scared." She was hesitant on telling him but she gave him a smile.

"I wanted to know why you always pushed me away. Even when things seemed good. Why was it that I got a particular feeling that you were trying to protect me from something." Her silver eyes laid on him. "So, I asked my mother. It was the a privacy invasion but I couldn't help it. I wrote a letter because I couldn't go see her. I sent it by bird of all things. She wrote back to my surprise. She told me what you are and the other presence she felt. I'm not scared Naota. I'm going to take care of you like you take care of me. Right now you need that. Don't even worry about my side. We'll take care of the dead when you are feeling better but for right now.. Just rest."

She stroked his hair and gave him a smile. "For right now just sleep." She struggled to get up for a moment but put her hand on her side. She took a deep breath before touching him and porting them away from the fire for now. "It would be bad if others showed up besides the troupe. The highland people aren't always forgiving." She took him into a little abandoned shack she had managed to find sometime earlier with the troupe. "Rest, my wound will heal. Then we can talk more. If you think about porting away I will find you and I will hound you until you tell me." She gave him a smile.

"I took a sword for you Naota. I took it despite what I knew happened. Because I care about you… Probably even more so than I realize. So stay and talk to me." She laid him down and covered him up once more.  "I need to patch this wound up a bit. Or I'll pass out myself."

His hands lifted, trying to push her back psionically like he normally would have but of course nothing happened.  He really wasn’t used to that and looked down at his hands, turning them this way and that as if there answer would be carved into his skin somewhere.  Angela knew…she had known all this time and still trusted one of her children to be around him at all.  He wasn’t sure whether or not to feel relieved at that amount of trust or burdened by it.  After all: he’d just lost control, what if she had been there when it happened and not finding the remnants of a village instead?

It was too much and he turned his head away from her touch, hardly feeling deserving of any gentle contact.  Even though it was due to Minasé that all of this had happened, he was still his responsibility and he’d failed.  The amount of purification he’d need to do on himself when his strength was returned would take weeks to execute.  He’d have to keep himself away from anything that could possibly ruin such purification, shield himself with something whenever he had to leave if need be.  Before he could stand up to try and stop her she was taking them somewhere else.

Usually it was he doing that for others and the feeling was foreign when it wasn’t coming from himself, especially since his usual bracing wasn’t there.  Shaking his head he pushed himself back up, sleep was the last thing he wanted right now for fear of another black out…it would be a few days before he’d willingly let himself rest so deeply.  Finally he was able to muster words to come, though speaking was difficult having still been in shock, he was lucky he hadn’t gone temporarily mute, “I-I can fix it just-”  He breathed in deeply and let the breath out slowly though there was a light shake to the end of it, 

“I can’t sleep.  I can’t.  Not right now-I shouldn’t be here in the first place-YOU sit down.”  Had he the ability he would have already taken himself far from here but presently was unable to and it infuriated him in the most melancholy way.  Daemon or not, he was still dangerous himself for being demonic by birth lineage and their outbursts weren’t always the safest.  Even if it was rare for him.   “I-I need to get home, I need to…to, prepare myself, fix this, right it.”  He shook his head, eyes closing tightly as a hand lifted up to grip into his hair, “I need to get to water.”

There was a look on her face as he defied her words. It was like a mother to a child who wasn't listening. She took a deep breath as she calmed herself. Looking away for a moment she nodded. "Fine then sit here until I'm ready to take you myself. You can barely stand! Let alone if I left you in water to drown yourself. You didn't leave me and I'm not going to leave you. Demon or not. I am here. I am not scared of you. Or whatever is in you. I love you therefore I will stay because I am not a coward. If it gets bad I'll teleport away but for right now my place is with you whether you like it or not."

She was stern with her words much more than she ever had been in the past. There was passion in her eyes as she got up and rummaged around the room. "Ah!" She grabbed a sewing kit off the top shelf after climbing up onto something to grab it. Her height was stunted from the fit she threw. Coming back over to him she sat on the edge of the bed and took off her top. She looked to see how back the wound was as she cleaned it up. "Honestly Naota, I'm not scared. If I really was I would have listened to that asshole back there. He had been badgering me for weeks about leaving you be, never seeing you, being with him. Disgusting really. That isn't what I want. There's only one person I want and the resolve is there to try to make it work. No matter how you push me away right now." 

She threaded the needled and began to patch herself up. "This will do until I get time to get to a cleric." She winced in between her words as she weaved it in and out of her skin. 

After regained her composure she dressed herself and got out a map. "Let's see… You said water. I know of a trading route that Rosenites use going through here. It should have everything we need." She grabbed him again and teleported him to the outpost. She greeted her sisters in arms and explained the situation.

Nodding they let her through and she took him gently into the river and held onto him. It was cold and made her shiver but she gave him a smile. "Just focus on what you have to do Naota."

His eyes lifted up to her, hesitant before letting himself nod.  That’s right, she could always teleport away just as easily as she had brought them both here.  Still, the risk was too much.  It was always like this after an attack and he wasn’t sure what to do with himself.  For such a long time he had kept a surge from happening, and he couldn’t even recall the exact moment when Minasé had taken control over their body.  That’s what disturbed him the most.  For a rare moment he wanted to be back home, be small, with his mother and father…

Her outcry of pain got his attention and he jerked his head to the side, eyes flaring to a dimmed crimson before realizing that it was only due to her reaching for a sewing kit.  He swallowed down, closing his eyes and forcing himself to lay down as he listened to the thread pull through her skin.  The pull and rip of flesh was trying to force its way into the forefront of his mind, a flare of red, squish of blood, screams that stopped mid peak too precisely. 

The shack felt too small, everything too close and pressing, trying to trap him just as Minasé had done with their body.  After these outbursts was always the worst, not just for the amount of death that followed, but because of the reminder that this body was no more his own than it was the other soul that inhabited it.  He just had dominant control, and what if that was only because of his teachings?  Had he not been taken to the Uharu family where would he be…?

She was speaking to him but she sounded far away as if from beyond twenty thick stone walls, her words muffled as they tried to reach him.  When he lifted his hands up to his ears his fingers curled instantly, itching from the crack and peel of drying blood around his knuckles and cuticles.  The pull of teleportation wasn’t even enough to get his hands away but the cold touch of water was.  His eyes opened quickly and he moved deeper into the water, hands falling from the sides of his head and into the previously untarnished river.

He looked down, lips parting from his own reflection.  There was so much blood on him, his skin, his hair, his lips…the still crimson state of his eyes, had he not known any better he would have thought Minasé was still the one with dominance over their body.  But the daemonic markings that Minasé bore had left with him when they’d traded back.  His jaw locked as his eyes closed, thinking about the sick implication his daemon had taken at drinking blood…If there was one person that knew how to get to his head the most it was him, but why wouldn’t it be him?  After all: he lived there.

It felt almost unnatural to do so but he thought of his biological father.  So far in his life he had only crossed paths with him once…only once.  The resemblance between himself and Nathan, his birth father, was so similar that it was dizzying.  Is this what he went through when his own daemon got control?  Did he regret it or was he finally being beaten down?  He hated him.  He hated him for what he had learned, but now there was no choice: he’d need to find him again, try and figure out more about this curse on their line.  Maybe he too was standing in a river tonight…

Without a word his hands pushed harshly into the water, cupping as much of it as he could to bring up and move on his face so hard that his skin started to hurt from the movements.  He sloppily brought water up onto his arms, his chest, and pulled off the pants he had taken from the shop, caring not for his nakedness.  There was too much blood and no matter how hard he rubbed at his skin or even clawed at it he felt like it would never come up. 

“I-It’s not coming off…!”   He frantically moved more of it, trying as hard as he could to will the water up with his mind but was unable to do so.  That vulnerability only made it worse.  Even after the majority of the blood was off of him he continued, not able to get his tainted reflection out of his mind’s eye.

Holly's dress floated atop of the water as she wadded down with him. He looked so fragile to her and truthfully she had never seen him like that before. Taking a cloth offered to her by one of the Rosen sisters she began to help him silently at first. Then his panic set in and she struggled to try and think of some way to comfort him.

"Easy Naota," she realized as she spoke that maybe words and sense would not be able to reach him. However, a calming song would. The song was magic and right now he should have been able to be effected quite well, at least enough for her to get him bathed. "Clear your mind." She began low at first as her voice reached higher. Her magic was strong and her eyes locked with his as she lifted his head up.

This would be how the magic would stay connected. Her fingers moved without having to look where the blood was. She washed him down and tried to keep his cool. Even with her magic at full capacity she had no idea how he would react to her. She took the cloth and washed his face and hair. She made sure that he could not see the red washing down him. She sang him an ancient song perhaps one that he had never heard.

She brought it to a close and took a deep breath in as she finally looked down and got the last few spots that she had missed. "Just relax in the water. Everything will be alright. I'm not going to leave your side and I'm not going to let him hurt anyone here. I'm a bard and a magic one at that. Trust in me Naota like I trust in you." Her words were gentle. 

As the song started he felt his motions slow, though his eyes stayed boring into the wavering reflection of himself in the water.  Her hands moved on his skin, replacing the harsh scratches he’d caused with gentle touches until he was finally able to rest his hands in the water.  The calming effects of the magick woven into her song were working, but just enough to keep him still.  For now the memories that tried to surface were kept at bay, halted in their attempts, but the feeling remained.  It was dulled, but it remained.  His eyes closed, trying to focus only on the shift of her fingers, the move of the current, how her voice sounded in harmony with the flowing water.

Her song ended, but by then he’d calmed enough to keep himself still.  And while the guilty self-accusing thoughts slowly returned, the memories no longer tried to resurface.  He breathed out slowly, gently, and turned his head towards her until his forehead was resting against her shoulder.  Still there were no words but he wanted there to be some way to show his thanks.  There was so much he had to do, and he was so tired but wasn’t going to let himself sleep for quite some time.  

He wanted to return home, and not just because of the amount of purification he’d have to do on himself, he just wanted to be in a place where he truly felt safe.  More than that, he would be able to surround himself with those that had the ability to fight this particular enemy should he take control again.  They’d helped him for years with maintaining that control and it usually came at the price of one of them having to deal with him themselves.  There was hardly ever anyone back at home though, he knew that, and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to pull them away from their duties over something he should have had full control of in the first place.

Despite all of this he knew that this wasn’t where she was supposed to be.  She had been with a troupe, she had been doing well for herself, and while he was grateful for what she had done for him so far he knew that she had to return back to her life.  Aside from that, he didn’t like that she was so close to him after an attack, that was when the risks were at their highest, “You need to find your troupe…”

The bard was glad she could at least stop the harsh scratching that Naota had been doing. The song continued and she knew that it was calming him. She didn't know if he could continue to remain calm after Holly ended her song.

She smiled a bit as he rested his head against her shoulder and she wrapped her arm around him. She kept him close so she could fell his heartbeat and his warmth. Her hands pulled him away from her and stared at him. "No, what I need to do is get you into a bed and help you. I can always find my troupe. The troupe is always wandering and we come and go as we please. As soon as you are better I will go back to them and kick the man who stabbed me in his face. Or smack him with my lute."

She stared at him and moved his hair slightly. "Just let me help you and when we are done I will go back to the troupe. Alright?" She kissed his forehead.