A chill breeze swept through the undergrowth between the trees, reaching cold fingers throughout the cursed forest. The Koschei Forest was a land forgotten and lost, and for good reason. While the growth of the trees attempted to hide their grim cores, small bits of plate and mail still reached out from ancient branches and lofty canopies. Ropes, encircled with vines and mist, gently swayed in the wind, snakes hungry for more victims. No light entered the depths of the forest, for what would illuminating such grim earth serve? In the gloom of death, the stubborn undergrowth grew viciously. With little to no animals to feed on them, the conquering vines spread out among the trees, stifling all who would cross the bedeviled domain. Strange shapes flitted at the edge of vision, one moment there, then gone into the fog. Most who entered this realm believed them to be figments of their imagination. Those that found out otherwise did not have the chance to tell others differently. The stench of death permeated the woods, though it was not from any normal denizen of the forest.
A lone figure stumbled and muttered its way between the trees. The little moonlight that fought its way through the canopy illuminated a tattered, dirty robe colored a faded red. A hood covered the figure's head and in his hand he leaned on a steel staff with a sickly green orb. Dead leaves and twigs crunched loudly underfoot as the figure clumsily pushed his way through the foliage. "No, no, that just wouldn't work. If the chicken ends up turning into a dead dragon, that invalidates the entire point of bringing the lizard into it. There must be some other way to…" the droning speech, which had been echoing through the woods for almost a month, suddenly quieted. The figured stopped. It looked left, right, up and down. It pulled back its cowl to reveal a truly disgusting and horrifying sight. Rotten flesh, still peeling from the bones of a walking corpse, gave off a stench that would turn the stomach of the hardest veteran. Teeth, chipped and decayed, were locked in a mouth that didn't have enough skin to cover its jaw or lips. Wiry white hair cascaded down the corpse's head, covered in cobwebs and their owners. The most haunting, however, were the eyes: two glowing blue orbs suspended in the vacant eyes of the dead. These orbs darted about as the undead looked at his surroundings in a state of confusion. It reached a long, bony finger into its eyesocket and withdrew a fat, wriggling nightcrawler. "Harriet? Do you happen to know where we are?"
After a half-hour of waiting for a reply, the lich shoved Harriet back into his eye, "Bah, you're never a help, Harriet. I'm always the one that has to get us out of these messes. You should take care of me! I'm your house after all". The lich sat down against a tree, bones creaking in protest. "This doesn't look quite like any forest I remember. Have we found a new place, Harriet?" The lich rubbed his chin ponderously, surveying the forest for any clue as to where he might be. "Come to think of it, didn't it sound like a portal we walked through, say, a few months back that way?" he pointed a skeletal hand back the way he thought he had come. In the monotonous march of the trees, however, it was so hard to be sure. "Well, no matter. Now where was I? Oh yes, the lizard…"
The lich continued his trek through the woods, seeing no sign of civilization or a break in the trees. He didn't mind, however, as he had plenty of experiments to think over in his head. When you're a corpse, you get very good at waiting. "But then the question arises as to how to control the dragon-chicken." He didn't notice the figures circling him in the trees nearby, getting nearer and nearer. He was so enthralled with his musings on his experiments, he didn't notice until one flew up right in front of him. It had the shape of a woman, but seemed to be made entirely of a mist-like substance. The only break in its roiling form were two empty eyes, staring directly at the lich. It was silent for a moment, then issued a high-pitched scream, so loud as to break glass and render hapless victims deafened. There was a moment of silence then, as the rest of the figures drew the circle tighter around the lich. "Well it's a pleasure to meet you as well, miss. I'm Thanxeros! And what's your name if I may so have the pleasure?" Rather than answering his polite question, the figures reached out their hands. Negative energy crackled as they all touched the corpse, buffeting it with the power of death itself. Frost formed on the lich's robes. "Erm, yes, quite. Well if you don't mind, I'll be going n–", he was cut off as the first figure withdrew its hand and pushed out again, this time throwing the lich backwards. He flew right into a petrified sword in one of the trees. Thanxeros looked down at the petrified wood sticking out of him. "Now, you see, that was quite rude."
The thing about dark, deep forests with impenetrable canopies is that very little rain gets to the undergrowth. While these vines and shrubs were stubborn enough and perhaps magic enough to continue growing despite this, they were still incredibly dry. As the spirits drew nearer to the impaled lich, he continued talking "I come into your home or domain or what have you, and you have the gall – the absolute gall, to impale me to a tree? Most hosts offer tea and crumpets but do you? Oh, no, you simply go and hang them up like a picture frame." Thanxeros then began chanting quietly to himself, and moved his hands in the familiar motions, beckoning the arcane forces of the world to come forth. His hands ignited, projecting the shadows of the trees through the darkened woods. He then threw the flame, which, scorching the very air around it, slammed into the dry undergrowth.
The entire area went up like a tinderbox. The spirits, whether due to the flames or the light, retreated away. Thanxeros, after getting the positioning correct, slid himself off the blade. He looked down at the hole in his robe and body and sighed. "Looks like more sewing tonight, Harriet."