Day 4,380

Dear Journal, 

Today started like always. I woke up to the sound of a bird tapping on my window. Why does it do that? That little blue bird taps on my window every single morning. It has become a pattern but it is still something that annoys me. After I bathed and dressed myself, I waited by the door. Uncle Nevin always comes in around this time. Sometimes he could be late but I dearly hoped not. Suddenly the door opened and in stepped my Uncle. He is a strong, muscular man with blonde hair, green eyes, and a bit of a beard running along his face. In his arms he carried a bucket of water, a sewing kit, and many other things for my daily chores. He dropped them at my feet then looked at me with disgust. As always. 

"Scarface. I'll come back a bit later with your food. I have more important things to get to." He simply said before slamming the door shut and locking it. 

Honestly I was a little surprise. Typically he avoided having to come into my tiny cabin room more than he needed to. I picked up the dropped supplies and sat them back up properly. Then I walked over to the window to watch Uncle Nevin leaving the cabin to go to the small village. How strange. I then noticed my reflection on the window and touched the large scar that spread across my face from my forehead to my chin. Then I looked at my white eye "dead eye". That eye had blurry vision so it was harder to look directly at it, especially when only using the window reflection. I also noticed the tiny freckles dotted across my face. There was no better word for my appearance other than ugly. For the world, being ugly was a far greater crime than anything else.

People would burn, torture, drown, or just outright kill me after one look of my hideous face. Or at least that's what Uncle Nevin said. He explained to me that the world is incredibly evil and it would love nothing more than to make me scream in agony as it rips me apart. That's just how the world is and always will be. Unkind and with nothing good about it. I believe him. Partly. The part with nothing good about it is what always gets me. Can the world be summed up so easily? As evil and nothing more? Is there are reason for this evil? Or is it just meaningless? What is out there really? 

I suppose I'll never find out. Not as long as I'm stuck in here. My days will continue out the same as it always does.
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Day 4, 381

Dear Journal, 

My Uncle Nevin, or rather Nevin is dead. I found out today when I was waiting for him to come back. After he left yesterday he hadn't come back. I wondered if he was punishing me for something and decided to not give me any food. But he always gave me chores. So I waited, looking up at the door patiently for him to return. Suddenly the door did open but it wasn't Nevin. Instead it was a muscular woman with brown hair and tan skin. Startled, I ran to the other side of the room and tried to put some distance between myself and her. The woman looked just as startled. 

"So you are the monster." The woman said in a strange accent, "Nevin is dead. Are you a slave?"

I shook my head.

"Niece." I explained. 

The woman looked confused and seemed to be thinking. Then she took a step forward before stepping back again. The woman then turned and left. I watched her leave through my window and waited until she was completely gone. My eyes looked to the open door. I could leave. Whenever I chose. I took a small step towards the door then stopped. What if this was some sort of trick? I rushed back to the window and checked again to make sure the woman hadn't come back. After making sure I rushed out of my room into the main big room of the cabin. Or at least it was bigger then what I was used to. Of course I had seen this place before. My uncle did let me in this room two times and the other times were because I had tried to escape. But I had never managed to step outside. Today was finally the day. But… it was dangerous outside. Stories of what the world would do to me if they saw me flooded my head. So I searched through my Uncle's things when I found a little green book, like mine, filled with writings. It belonged to my Uncle. I opened the book to the first page. The page was filled with about his goings on in the village. Which wasn't particularly interesting. So I skipped pages until I found the first one that mentioned me. It was when I was a very young child. Too young to remember anything but older than a baby. My Uncle was taking me home. Then I found something particularly interesting. 

-This child is an abomination. I can't and won't call myself her father. Such a name for myself would be disgraceful and it would worry the village ladies if they ever inquired about the brat. I'll call myself her uncle. There is enough distance in that name for it to be acceptable.-

After reading this small passage from my uncle's journal, I felt confused. Why would he call me his father or even consider it? After I read the passage a few more times I realized what this meant. It meant that he wasn't my father or my uncle. Quickly I flipped back a few pages to read through it to see if he ever mentioned a brother, anything about his family, or anything that might reveal who my family is. On the fourth page I found it state that he was an only child. I checked a few more pages to see if he might have been my father. However he never mentioned a wife or her giving birth. This couldn't be. It didn't make any sense. Why would he take care of me for so many years if I wasn't related? Who even am I? These questions and more flooded my mind to a point where I couldn't even move on until I wrote it down. Now that I have, I do feel a bit better. 

But first I want to figure out a plan. First I will gather all resources from Nevin's cabin. I think I've seen some slippers, a robe, my tailoring kit, a little box with sticks in it, my blanket, rope, a bow, and a backpack to put all this stuff inside. I have nowhere to go with nobody or anything to call home. I don't know my past, my present has nothing useful, and I have no idea what to do about my future. However I do know a little about the gods. They are the wisest beings in existence. Perhaps if I asked them nicely and hide my disgusting face then they would answer my questions. Once I understand who I really am, then surely life will be easy. Until then I don't doubt that life will be cruel, heartless, and there will be many times where I face death itself. But I will find out who I am meant to be. Even if it means I am tortured, killed, or something else like that. It's better than being locked up for the rest of my life without knowing anything about the real world. What else is out there? I am desperate to find out. 

Wish me luck!

Day 4,382

Dear Journal, 

I have finally begun my journey. The only problem is that I have absolutely no idea where I am to go. I searched the entire cabin but there wasn't anything that could lead me to my real family. Which leaves me to wonder what happened. Why was I not with my family? Had they abandoned me? Or was I taken? Did they die? These questions swarmed through my mind until I finally had enough and focused my thoughts on food. Although I'm not proud of it, I did steal food and items from a dead man's home. But if he can lie and call me niece for eighteen years while keeping me locked in my room, then I think it's only fair that I take whatever can be useful to me. Obviously I'm still not over the fact that he isn't my uncle. I'll admit I didn't care for him much but I still had firmly believed that he was family. Now even that is taken from me. I know that nobody will accept my with my ugly face. I probably won't ever have friends or fall in love. But, maybe. Just maybe if I find my parents then they can be all the friends I need. Maybe they will accept me for who I really am. After all only a mother could love my face. That's why I'm going to try to find them. But where to start? That was the big question. 

I suppose I should start with my first steps out of the cabin in, well forever. It wasn't at all what I expected. When I opened that door there was a gust of warm wind that flooded the room and a sun shining that I had never truly felt the direct rays of. Of course even I knew better than to look at the sun. Then I took my first step outside. The ground below me had grass and dirt mixed together that I wiggled my toes through. It felt nice and cool. Before I knew it I had taken a couple more steps out of the cabin. Then a few more. My walk had turned into a run as I ran to the field just ahead of me. So this is what it felt like to be on the other side of the window. It was amazing! I could go anywhere and do anything. But then my thoughts became darker as I recalled all the stories Nevin would tell me about how dangerous it was and how the world would eat me up and spit out my bones. I stopped running and put my shoes back on. Already, I was looking back at the cabin contemplating whether or not I should just return back to my safe prison. After all I was just one girl. There was no way I would ever be able to do this on my own. I was too weak and too stupid to do this on my own. However I knew deep in my heart I knew that if I didn't do this now, I would regret it for the rest of my life. Thus my journey began. 

I'd only traveled a  mile from the cottage before she came across an old man who seemed to be quite upset. I had no idea what to do. This was a completely new person that would no doubt attack me. Instead of running away or finding a place to hide, I stood there frozen. The old man noticed me and approached me. I double checked my hood was covering my head so that he'd have no reason to attack me. 

"You there!" He called to me, "Do you have food to spare?"

I was startled. Nobody had asked me for anything except for Nevin. Then again I'd only met three people in my entire life. So I suppose that isn't saying much. Quickly I opened my backpack and took out a wrapped up piece of dried meat and offered it to him. I kept my eyes to the ground and tried to make myself seem small. The man was clearly taken aback by my approach but still took the package of meat. I was about to leave but he spoke before I could. 

"Thank you young lass." The Old Man said, "So where are yeh headed?"

My mind went blank as I realized I had no idea where I was going. There was no correct answer because I had forgotten to figure that out. So instead of answering like a normal person I just stood there with a blank stare as if I was some sort of moron. Which I may be. 

"Can yeh not speak?" He asked. 

"Yes." I said, "I mean no…. I mean I can speak." 

The old man seemed to find that funny and chuckled a bit. He then took a look over me and noticed that the closest thing I had to a weapon was a wooden staff. 

"Are yeh a fellow druid?" He questioned. 

"No." I simply said. 

"Then why do yeh have a staff?" 

"I found it. It was the only weapon I could find." 

"Great deities! Yeh mean yeh don't have any way of protecting yerself?" 

"No." 

The old man paused a bit before making a clear decision. 

"Well I'm gonna teach yeh then." He declared, "In exchange for the food yeh gave me earlier." 

The old man spent the rest of the day teaching me magic, how to use the staff in martial arts defense, and even giving me a few supplies that he didn't need anymore. I thanked him for being so gracious and kind. He shrugged it off as just helping but I don't think he understood how much this meant to me. We spent almost a whole ten hours with small breaks on training magic and martial arts. It was one of the most grueling things I went through and by the end of it I was exhausted. The old man informed me that I still had a lot to learn and that this was only the basics. He then said that I might find a teacher one day then left. I am so glad he did this for me. Otherwise I don't doubt I would be dead within minutes of being in this world. Still I am tired so I will stop writing for the night and get myself sleep. I have decided to sleep in the trees to avoid any monsters or creatures. The trees have low leaves that will hopefully cover me for the night. It also helps I'm not in a particularly dangerous part of the Bohoran Plains. 

Good Night. 

Dear Diary, 

I realize that I have forgotten to enter another page into my diary during my travels. So I've lost track of how many days have passed during my travels. Still this won't stop me from recording important events in my life! I've been traveling for a while trying to find the Viren forest. The old man a while back had mentioned the god of the hunt while we were training. Apparently the god would be in the Viren forest so I have traveled there. Most of my nights were spent in trees, caves, or holes that I dug out. Is this how normal people travel? Constantly digging themselves into holes and having to drag themselves out of it every morning? Perhaps. Anyway I continued down the rode when one of my purple slippers had somehow acquired a hole towards the toe part. I ended up having to mend it with a piece of fabric from my robe. I ripped the fabric at the very bottom of my robe so I wouldn't have to worry too much about holes.

As for food, I've been lucky enough to pass small stands selling foods for travelers. But I think I ended up paying too much for the food. One apple was about twelve silver even though the apple was smaller than the palm of my hand. Perhaps this is normal. However I don't think it is. Next time I'll have to be more careful. Still I have been enjoying my journey. It's been difficult and my feet are so sore but I think I'll be fine. Besides I'm in the forest now! All I have to do is figure out where this temple is. How will I even know that I have found it? After all I've never even seen a temple before! What does a temple even look like? Is it a building or a tree? Some sort of beast or maybe it's just a certain rock? I haven't the slightest idea what it might be. Yet somehow I feel that I will know it when I see it. After all the old man that I talked to talked about it in a certain way. As if it was the most impressive thing in the world. So I'll bet I can find it. I just have to be careful. This is a deep forest and I only have one map. So I definitely will have to be cautious during my journey. 

I saw a strange little animal this morning. It had a fluffy tail, like a cotton ball. The ears of this animal was long, about the size of a long leaf. The eyes are small and similar to black buttons. It's fur was white and fluffy. It was beautiful but also precious. Honestly I wished I could have picked it up and cuddled it. But it seemed to be frightened as it was so I left it alone. Instead I sat down and drew what the rabbit looked like. Then the little animal ran off. But now I won't ever forget what the beautiful animal looks like. Then I continued on walking through the forest. There were many strange sounds and many parts of the forest frightened me. But as long as I stay with the road I know I will be safe. Hopefully.