Do you ever stop what you’re doing and just wonder what got you into that situation?

I find myself thinking that quite often. Usually, the thought creeps up on me just as I’m retrieving my knives from my target’s back. I get this feeling – a feeling that I do not like in the slightest. It starts in my throat and works its way down into the pit of my stomach. It generally leaves me with a fleeting moment of regret. Why did I just kill this person? Did they really deserve it? Were the crescents worth it? After a few minutes, the feeling is gone and I think, “Yeah, the crescents were worth it.” I end up walking away with heavier pockets and a lighter conscience. Should I be worried?

I sleep so easily after I fulfill a contract. I’ve never once awoken in a cold sweat, terrified that what I’ve done is going to catch up with me – not even after my first kill. I think the concentration that a successful kill requires is what draws me in. If you’re going to make the kill from behind, you have to hit the target in the right spot. Removing a blade from a limp corpse is a lot easier than removing it from a struggling victim.


I’m starting to think it might not be normal for someone to so easily kill another being, or to talk about it so casually… but maybe I’ll become even more skilled if my next target is my conscience.