Over the next week or two after the twins were born, things were sufficiently busy for Iris, and she certainly wasn't complaining. However, something else had changed. While she had been expecting things to be busy with the new additions to Master Drae's family, there was one thing that she hadn't really expected. Nathaniel seemed to be avoiding her. She didn't want to put too much stock into it. Maybe he was just as busy as she was, maybe he just hadn't noticed her being in the area, but he had barely acknowledged her. If he had, it was brief and almost distant, as though he didn't want to be around her. It was perplexing, and Iris found that she was missing his company. While her work kept her busy, before she could at least go and talk to Nathaniel about the things she was learning. He'd always seemed interested in her progression. 

But now, not so much. The new Avatar sighed as she shelved some books that had been left out by Master Drae and other patrons of Tar Eisalae's extensive library, and as she did so, she had a thought. Had she done something to offend Nathaniel. She was still learning things about human nature and how certain things could make people upset, but she couldn't be sure what it was she had done. Someone had always been quick to explain to her. But not in this case. 

She bit her lip and shelved the last book before she moved back towards the main section of the Library. As she did, she felt a familiar wash of energy. While she wasn't quite able to sense immediately when people entered the Temple Library, Iris had become very familiar with a couple of energy signatures; namely Lady Angela, Master Drae and many others of their family. Iris rounded the corner of the shelves and saw Angela with several large tomes, Poppy and Larkspur in tow. 

"Oh, Lady Angela! Is there anything I can help you find?"

Angela was researching spacial magic. The type of magic that only deities could completely cast with comprehensive understanding. There was only one book in the entirety of Drae’s library and it was infuriating. “Tell your daddy to be better at finding books I need.” She reached over and played with the twin’s hands. There were several larger books by her that explained the theories that mortals had on it. Only one tome was from a god that actually had done it. Of course, for deities like Angela, they could do it almost flawlessly. Her Gardens were a good example of that. Temples were done almost without thought but if she wanted to do something by force she would need to know how to harness that ability.

When Iris came over Angela smiled up at her and shook her head. “Not unless that useless Master of yours knows about spacial magic more than these books.” She chuckled a bit to show she was joking.

After a moment she looked back up at Iris and smiled. “Something is bothering you. You have the same damn look on your face when Drae is over thinking things. Come sit and talk to me about it.” She pulled out a flask. “This has some wine in it. It will help you unwind.” She winked at Iris as she kicked out a chair with her free leg. “What’s eating you?”

Iris made a face. "It looks like he got you the most… official volumes on the subject," Iris answered. "But I guess they are not suiting your needs. I do believe that there may be a collection of journals by former deities that may prove useful," she replied. She fell silent for a moment, her mind rather irritatingly turning back to her conundrum with Nathaniel, and the look on her face was more than clear of her frustration. Angela even called her out on it. 

"Was I mimicking Master Drae's face?" she asked, but then thought it might have been more rhetorical than that, simply that the expression she was making was similar. It didn't matter, Angela seemed to understand that something was bothering her, and she was immediately offered a seat at the table as well as a small flask of wine. Iris pursed her lips a bit and sat down as she had been directed and took the offered flask. But rather than drinking from it, she fiddled with it at first, something different than what Drae would have done. She looked up when Angela asked in the strange way. 

"Nothing. Nothing is eating me. Nothing in this Library except Tar Eisalae itself has the capacity to eat me… unless you count the dragon in the Conservatory…" she said slowly trailing off. "But that isn't what you meant… you are asking me what is wrong…" she said, coming to the understanding on her own. She sighed. "It's Nathaniel…"

“I already read the journals. They aren’t helping at all.” She frowned at Iris. “Most of them don’t contain the single thing I need that is key. Most information on it is simply legends. Legends have some truth to them but it's dividing the truth from the bullshit.” She chuckled a bit. “It’s not Adraejen’s fault if he doesn’t know, it simply means he doesn’t have it in his possession.”

The goddess gave Iris a nod. “You reflect him and me at times but that is because you are made up of elements from the both of us. It would stand to be theorized that you would take up things that we do as quirks.” Angela watched her for a moment. “For example, instead of drowning your sorrows away like a certain used to be urchin we all know and love, you’ve fiddled. I fiddle when I am not sure what to do about something that is on my mind.” For a moment she stopped and thought, “Children do the same thing. It’s because they are learned behaviors. It doesn’t mean you aren’t your own person Iris. Just means you take after us more than most do.”

She let Iris figure out what she meant and nodded. “Ahhh… Boy troubles. That is typical for a girl of your biological age. My son is a troublesome one, isn’t he? Tell me what is bothering you about my stick in the mud son.”

Iris nodded as she stared the flask that she turned around in her hands before she twisted off the top and took a small sip. The sweet, sharp, and earthy liquid slipped down her tongue and she swallowed slowly, enjoying the taste. "I don't drink a lot… I understand alcohol has a poor effect on Master Drae, it would only make sense that I might share the same weakness," she said as she put the flask back up on the table in front of Angela. 

She shook her head when Angela spoke of Nathaniel as being troublesome, or being a stick in the mud. "No, he's none of those things!" she said quickly coming to the Rosenite boy's defense. "It's just… Have I… Have I done something to upset him?" she asked slowly looking up at Angela, looking almost pained. "I… I don't know… he just… It feels like he's been avoiding me. And… I don't know why. Was it something I said, or did?" she asked. "Before, he always would talk to me about what I was learning, and was always quick to correct me when I made mistakes… but now… I don't know… I just don't understand. Why does it bother me so bad? I wouldn't think twice about it if it were Master Drae or anyone else…"

She chuckled a bit at Iris. “But it might not have that sort of effect on you. Remember I made you as well and my alcohol tolerance is legendary.” She winked at the girl and sighed a bit. “Honestly, you worry as much as Nathaniel does. If you two did less worrying and more living you might get somewhere.” Angela flipped the page on the book she was reading.

“Oh, he is very much a stick in the mud just like his father.” She smiled at Iris and winked once more. She ignored the question for a few. “Just like his father was. Marius was one for rules and honor. He did whatever he had to for his family. He died three times for us. One time he burned alive just to save Thaniel and I. Nathaniel has a lot of Marius’s qualities. Even though it's admirable he is a stick in the mud because of it.”

It was after that when the smile left her face. “He’s already come and talk to me about it. I told him I would most definitely be telling you about it and he got upset at me. So I told him if the day came and you came to me to talk about it I would support you.”

Her eyes were on the paper. “Iris, you’ve done nothing wrong. Nathaniel…” It was hard to put it into words. “I feel like he feels about you the same way Drae feels about me. He just doesn’t want it to ruin your honor and refuses to say it… So in order to keep you pure he had backed away from you. He doesn’t think he deserves these things he has with you. Is he right? No, personally I think he’s being stupid but that’s what his father would do. Hell, that’s why Marius and I aren’t married anymore. Besides the fact, we can’t stand each other for various reasons. We used to be in love… like Drae and I am.”

She reached over and fixed a strand of Iris’s hair. “You gotta give Nathaniel time… He’ll come around. Right now he thinks that he is a burden on you… that he isn’t worth your time. He has placed you on a pedestal so high… I think he loves you more than he will ever love me or his sister. This is all speculation but… He does care about you more than I’ve ever seen him care before.”

"You are truly his goddess Iris. That's what I believe."

Iris listened quietly as Angela explained about Nathaniel and the traits he got from his father. He sounded like a very caring man, and Iris felt like she would have like to have met him. Her eyes were lowered and she was looking at her hands as Angela told her about her son. When she said that Nathaniel had already come to talk to her about it, Iris lifted her head, her eyes big and earnest. Angela didn't make eye contact with her at first, and it bother Iris. 

The words that Angela spoke confused her even more. Nathaniel cares for her? At least Angela thought so. But Iris couldn't understand. Everything she had learned about affection and the relationships indicated that if someone had feelings for another person, they would be closer to the object of their affection, not try to shy away. Iris had never felt that being around Nathaniel had made her any less, and if anything she felt that being around Nathaniel helped her to feel free rather than burdened the way these confusing feelings made her. 

"But… that… that isn't how I feel. I not supposed to be an object of devotion… not like you and Master Drae… I don't want him to put me on a pedestal," Iris said slowly, the confusion coming out in her voice. "I… I just want him to talk to me again…"

Angela tilted her head at Iris and frowned a bit at her. “It might take time… but I also think he thought you were offended by it. Your reactions to him kind of… stunned him. He was trying to be true with you and I think it scared him, Iris.” She pets Iris’s hair and smiled. “He’ll come around I promise.”

Thinking about her son she seemed a tad frustrated. “He would honor you until the day he died. That’s the type of person he is… and if he thinks he ruined your honor in any way like if you reacted in a way he thought was negative… he would run away from it and clam up. Which is exactly what he did Iris.”


Scratching her head she tried to think of what else it could be. “He’s not used to trying to win anyone over. Everyone has always just thrown themselves at him but when he kissed you… I think he thought you rejected him and it shattered his world for a moment. I think it’s good for him but that would be cruel, wouldn’t it? Things often don’t go the way you want them too and Nathaniel has lost a lot of time with being dead. I just think you need to give him time and eventually he will try again or you could be up his ass and try and make him see.”

Iris looked at Angela, largely confused by her words. She hadn't thought the kiss offensive. She hadn't understood the motion at the time, however. She thought back to what she might have said, and her eyes went wide. 

"Oh… I… I did call it unpleasant…. but I didn't mean that I found it unpleasant…" she said. "He acted like he was repulsed by the action… tense, and stiff, like he didn't want to do it at all. I…I thought HE was the one who found it unpleasant, and apologized that he had to teach me something like that…" she said. She buried her face in her hands, feeling completely defeated. "I don't understand… it hurts when I don't understand…" she said softly. "I don't like the way it feels when I don't understand… so I make it go away. I didn't understand his kiss… so I pushed the feelings away and now he won't talk to me…" 

She felt Angela's hand petting her hair and found some strange sort of comfort in the motion, and for a brief moment the confusion was quelled in a way that felt better than when she pushed the feelings away. 

She looked up at Angela, her eyes shining as if to cry. It did not happen though. Crying was still a foreign concept to her, much like laughing was. 
"Shattered his world? Like shattering a mirror? But… that is not something you can fix," she said slowly. It was clearly rhetorical, but Iris was unsure of how it would apply in rhetoric. She sighed. "I am too big to do something like that, and it would be incredibly unpleasant for the both of us, I think," she said clearly missing the point of the last suggestion in a typical Iris way. 

"How… how do I make him see that I wasn't offended?"

Angela tilted her head again at Iris. “It sounds like he was nervous Iris not repulsed. He was nervous on if you would like it or not. When people are nervous they sweat and act weird. Sometimes they act uncomfortable even if they want and like the action. Should have seen Adraejen when we first got together. My first break down he was nearly gone because he wasn’t understanding.”

A few words left Angela’s lips in the Rosenite language. “Only humans can’t repair mirrors, Iris.” She got up and summoned her most beloved mirror. “You recognize this?” She threw it on the ground and watched as it shattered into hundreds of pieces. “Humans can’t put this back together… but you… him… me… even Adraejen.” Angela waved her hand and the mirror began to piece back to together. “We have the magic to do so where most humans do not. It is a human concept to not try and fix something just because it looks impossible.”

She placed the mirror aside. “Shoved up his ass is a metaphor, Iris. It means you shouldn’t leave him alone until he gets the message. Tell him. Write him a letter and stick it in his room. I could tell you a hundred different ways of doing it. My most favorite is just being honest and getting him to listen to you. Would do you good to order him to listen to you, even if that isn’t something you are comfortable with. You have to understand that there comes a time when you must do it. Even now Adraejen and I fight but you and everyone else doesn’t know it. Sometimes we have to do things we don’t like to fix things that we messed up. Owning responsibility is never easy.”