"Right, I forgot that about her…" Justice sighed. It wasn't exactly unknown that the Goddess of the Earth disliked being out of contact with the ground. It made sense that Holly would have the same reservation. He sighed and sat up slowly as she relinquished her grip on him and got up. He looked around at the orchid lit twilight at the eerily glowing garden and slowly crawled out of the pillows. He followed Holly towards the flowers and strange trees where pale glowing beings seemed to be growing. 

"This place is weird, I will agree," he said softly before Holly shrieked for him as the small soul was left in her arms. He quickly moved to her and observed the tiny crying baby soul and encouraged her to gently rock the baby, though they were surrounded by a chorus of cries. 

"Hey, just calm down," Justice reassured her. "Little ones can detect discomfort in an adult the same way a pet can," he pointed out to her. "Why do you think small children behave so badly when their parents are upset?" he asked her. "Relax." He looked up as the strange man came along carrying the impossibly large basket, collecting the small soul babies and placing them in the basket. 

Gently, he urged her to hand over the baby to the caretaker, and watched as the babies were snuggled up and dragged to the river where little boats were waiting.

"I think it makes sense," Justice said thoughtfully as he moved to the river and watched as the man began placing the babies in the little boats. "When someone dies, sometimes there souls are broken. They come here, and are reborn whole, and then ferried off to return to life," he said. "That is the purpose of this place, after all. The collection and rebirth of souls," he pointed out. 

It was odd watched Holly who was the daughter of The Mother freaking out over a tiny baby. Maybe it was because of the way the baby looked. Maybe it was because she had been startled. She nodded to Justice and attempted to calm down. “It just startled me is all.” Holly gave Justice a look of concern for a moment as she blushed and attempted to deal with the situation.

She watched the babies all leave and Justice’s words made her heart break a little. She didn’t know why but it just did. “I suppose you are right. I should have known my mother would do something like this. That this is the way she would choose to do it.” She let a tiny frown form on her face. Holly moved with Justice and looked at the little paper mache boats. “It’s so weird this place.” She was clinging to him now.

She watched as wreaths of roses were placed on the babies. It made sense for that to be a parting gift from her mother. “I wonder if all the girls who committed Eshari end up here when they eventually die.” Holly’s eyes were sad now as she watched the boats. “If this is the place I would have wound up if Naota hadn’t woke me up.” She gripped her wrist and frowned a bit more now. “In a way, it is surreal that I survived but… I can’t help but think about everyone else who did the same thing as me. If they don’t get woken up they will die in their sleep.”

He didn't let on but every time she clung to him, he felt his heart rabbit. They stood there watching the boats for a moment. 
"It isn't natural thing, for the living to exist in a place where only souls and those born of the realm are meant to be," he commented. "Imagine how invaded the denizens of this place feel? The souls here must be disturbed on some level having the living here," he pointed out to her. 

He looked at Holly as she spoke about Eshari and the other poor girls who may have chosen that path. He thought about putting an arm around her but wasn't sure how she would take that sort of affection. She had been clinging to him just barely, but that was him allowing her to use him for support. Instead, he lightly placed a hand on her shoulder.  "With luck they will have someone looking after them as Naota looked after you," he said. "If not… at least, going in your sleep is peaceful. There are far worse ways to die…" he said slowly as he pulled away from her and turned to look further down the river. "Far… far worse ways…" he said absently as he watched the rose haloed boats float away. 

Holly nodded. “I think that even though they feel out of place that they understand we’re only trying to help them.” She frowned a bit as she thought about it. “I would hope in that way that they are alright with it.”

There was a look in her eyes and she shook her head. “It’s not always so peaceful Justice. When you commit Eshari you live in the realm of your dreams. Dreams can be nightmares. Granted the oracles do their best to make sure no one suffers but not always are nightmares caught. Nightmares don’t get to end if you can’t wake up.” She agreed with him that there were far worse ways to die.

“Many, many other ways.” She echoed him lightly before pulling his arm with her. “I worry about a lot of things. I know that my aging is stuck but I’m not sure what else is stopped at this point. Sometimes I don’t think my hair grows at all anymore because of it. Though I’m sure that sounds silly.” She decided to go into exactly what had happened to her. She felt more comfortable around him recently. “I was stupid and I had been destroyed by Naota. Deeply broken by his words. Eshari is for the women of Arri who can’t live by themselves. I thought it was the only way out from my suffering. I thought that if Naota had reacted that way to what I was than others would too. I don’t want to be by myself. I want a family at some point and I didn’t think  I could have that.” She gave him a frown.

“So I did the unmentionable to myself. Committed taboo.  I don’t know if I will find anyone else. Ever for that matter that will be okay with what I am. I just know I can’t do that again.”

"Then don't. You were granted a second chance when Naota pulled you out of it," he said simply. "As far as finding someone, Holly, you have to give that time," he said flatly. He looked at her. "Think about it… most people spend the majority of their adult lives with someone else, often finding that person long before they become comfortable with who they are as themselves. Those who are most comfortable with themselves often find themselves happiest in relationships because there is no hiding or deceit," he pointed out. "I think the stress of trying to be someone else would be taxing on a relationship, especially if who you truly are wouldn't be acceptable to your partner," he explained. "Why would you do that to yourself. You can be happy alone as long as you are happy with yourself," he said. 

He walked along the river, still watching the water. "Don't delude yourself into believing that you can't be happy without a lover. So many people sell themselves short when they do that. You are worth more than that, Holly. I saw that when we first met at the Festival. They loved you because of your passion for song and dance, not because you were seeing Naota, or because you were Angela's daughter. I knew nothing about that, but you still enchanted me just by being yourself," he told her sternly. 

Holly stared at Justice for a few minutes as if she had heard it all before but there was still a sad glimmer in her eyes. “Because sometimes not everyone is strong enough to love themselves. I love the things around me but I’ve never actually loved myself. I was delusional, greatly, that I could eventually do it but I’ve done something really stupid and now the only part of me that can grow is how I feel. It’s bad enough that women of Arri seldom get a mate as it is. Couple that with how I feel about myself and I have a real problem. I don’t mean to be annoying about it. My heart is still very much broken by Naota’s words. And I know he hates that he said them now but that doesn’t help.”

She let go of him and trailed behind him so she could watch the river. “Maybe it’s because that’s the one thing I feel like I can do no matter how I feel about myself. I dance because I know it will make me happy and for a while hiding everything. But when I stop? I feel like the ocean is crashing down on me.” She shook a bit as she crossed her arms. “I haven’t been the same since the nightmares. They tore me apart and I can’t stand sleeping at night anymore.” She wrapped her arms for comfort. “Sometimes the only thing I think that will fix it is someone else. I feel stuck and unable to do anything about it and the only thing that makes me free is when I dance and sing.  I can’t do that forever and eventually, the music stops and I’m there again.” 

She shivered. “I can be happy it takes a long but I’ve been annoyed with myself at how hopeless I feel. Maybe it is the lack of sleep. I just don’t have a lot of energy anymore. It’s getting harder to focus every day I don’t sleep. When I do pass out at least it’s too dark to dream.”

She was tired of this sadness as she stomped her way past Justice and grabbed his hand. She dragged him with her and gave him the cheesiest smile she could. “That being said I try not to keep myself in that dark place. I can’t help it but I do try. Alright? I’m not trying to sell myself short, I’m just trying to tell you how I feel. I apologize if it's not something you wanted to hear.”

If Rizka had been there, Justice was pretty sure she would be sticking him with a look that would have said something along the lines of "This is why you can't get a girlfriend". He had seen Holly's eyes, and it was clear that every word out of his mouth was something she had heard before. He definitely wasn't getting points for being original. As Rizka would have said, "Just listen and stop trying to fix things". He wanted to hit his head against a nearby tree. What was he supposed to do? He clearly wasn't making her feel any better. 

He wouldn't ever admit it, but he was only half listening really, because his mind was still trying to sort out exactly what she wanted from him. He was at least focused enough to pick up on the not sleeping well bit, but when she went to stomp passed him, he was afraid that he had done something to upset, and almost looked rattled. 

Then there was the fake cheesy smile that did not suit her very well as she grabbed his hand and apologized, basically for boring him. He felt himself getting the tiniest bit irritated. Why were women so damn confusing? He put on a cheesy smile of his own, figuring that it was a pretty safe bet that saying anything else at this point would only put him in a deeper hole than the one he might have already started digging for himself. 
"Should we follow the river?" he asked, terribly unsure of how to proceed, and it came out as a bit of a strain in his voice. 

Holly was confusing even to herself. She had been lost for a long time now. She was stuck in a fragment of time that was unmoving.  It was hard to convey how that made her feel. She held onto his hand as she pulled him along. “I am not overly sure how to proceed myself.” She frowned at him and went to think about how to get out of this.

There was a confusion around her as the world began to ripple. She froze up and stopped walking as he bumped into her. “Justice,” she squeaked out as she began to fall. Her eyes had seen it first through the ripples. The world around them changed. It was a very dreary world around them. It was black and white. The scenery was dying and there was constant rain. Holly’s chest began to hyperventilate as she started to panic.

She got up and began to try and ran. She hit the large obstacles in her way and began to scream. “Justice let me out.” The white began to transition to more of a morbid red as did the rain that hit them. “Let me out.” She screamed at him as she ran back to him and looked around. “I don’t want to be here anymore. Not again.” She fell into him and clung to him as she shivered and shook. “I don’t like this place.”

There were loud screaming around them and Holly moved to cover her ears. It was almost like distorted music after that. The world going fuzzy. Holly was shaking her head and crying. “Make it stop please.” She was clinging to his waist at this point trying to stop herself from completely collapsing to the ground. 

Floating around was a small looking thing not far off. It was wisping and whirling in the air as if it was making the world better.  Well better for it. Holly was so numb as she pushed herself to his stomach. Her cries were being drowned out by the distorted music. 

Whatever she was seeing, he was seeing it too suddenly as the world around them distorted and faded to black and white. Rain pelted around them as the world seemed to decay, though they did not get wet. He didn't move, but watched, recognizing that Holly was panicking and hyperventilating and tried to run, but was stopped by what Justice could have only described as invisible walls. The rain and the white of the world began to turn red, deep and dark, and Justice looked at the red droplets on his hands and wondered if it was meant to be blood. She was screaming now, screaming at him, begging to be let out. This wasn't his doing though. He didn't answer her, just stood there, looking around this nightmarish scene. This was what kept her from sleeping. This is what her Eshari had been. This is what she had meant about how dying while sleeping could have been hellish. 

He felt her falling against him, clinging to him, shivering violently. He knew she didn't like it. He didn't either. He felt a rage building in the deep recesses of his stomach. His usually jovial and bright blue eyes hardened as the atmosphere began to scream in a distorted tune. She was gripping his waist, all her weight against him, and one of his hands pressed gently, but firmly against the side of her face. 

He saw it, the wispy dark shape twisting and contorting in the air a short distance away. It pulsed and and seemed to grow with Holly's despair. Justice's rage grew. Slowly he pulled Holly's arms away from around him and he knelt in front of her. He had to hold her back to keep her from clinging to him, and placed both hands over her ears cutting off the screams and forced her to look into his eyes. 

"Stand up, Holly."

Holly was in her own hell. This world she hated it. A whimper left her lips as Justice pulled her away from him. Her frightened silver eyes stared up at him as she cried. He placed his hands over ears so the screams would stop. She looked grateful at him as she nodded. She could read his lips and rose with him. He held her firmly so she could have his support. She labored her breaths.

“Justice, I just want this to stop.” She repeated it to him. She was so glad that his hands were over her ears. She couldn’t stand looking at it either. “This is my nightmare I was telling you about.” She was so teary eyed as she spoke to him. She was trembling still but his hands on her offered her some support that she really needed. "Please make it stop."