Eldora nodded a bit in understanding. “Those like the other oracles can bathe in their powers all they want. They can walk the edge of all three realities and it wouldn’t bother them. It burns me, drains me. I want to do what they can but I can’t. I want to, though. The nature of my power is more chaotic and destructive than theirs. Theirs is made to protect and I think mine is made to destroy. Why else would I be given the tools I have been. I understand your pain, Steele.” She was highly more talkative perhaps because she didn’t want to dwell on the pain resonating in her body at that moment.

“If it wasn’t for Bryony I would be alive right now. She taught me how to hold myself together. I taught myself how to blank and not feel. How to be stoic to keep the pain away. She was always there as my mother. Even after I left Sularia she would come when I needed her. Even now she would come here to help me if I asked.”

She must have been so light when he picked her up and laid her down on the bed. She bathed in the strong scent of her favorite smells. She watched the ceiling for long moments as she contemplated. “It was my safe spot in Sularia growing up. I never knew I had a mother or siblings for the longest time. Done so to protect my existence. Bryony let me live with her in the Oracle Mansion in Sularia and I had my own room. It was exactly like this.” Eldora closed her eyes as she relived the happy memories.

“I was about five when the visions started and the pain. They started as nightmares and soon they became every minute of every day. It was so strong in Sularia. The screaming. I can’t shut it off like the others. So Bryony took me away. We went all over Revaliir together. We stayed away from places where the spirits were too strong for me. She taught me how to live. Eventually, though it got too strong and I became seemingly emotionless to deal with my life. I wasn’t living anymore. I was fortune telling and mediating. Decades slipped only moving for a few days every year. I’ve not lived much of my life.”

She opened her eyes and looked around the room. “I lived in this room. It was the last place I felt truly alive in. I can’t remember how long ago it was but I remember the happiness. Bryony was the best mother anyone could ever ask for. I remember being so scared but she calmed me down the best she could. Angela came and gave me sedatives to calm me but they only worked for so long before I got used to them. I’ll be honest that I don’t know Colden. I barely know Lotus or Kirika. I don’t know Cyprus. I was gone from Sularia by the time she figured out I was alive. That’s the story of this room. It’s my head space. My happy place if you will. The last place I can truly be myself.”

She looked up at Steele. “Does that sound stupid?”

“A loin driven brother, a sister that thinks the world will end when she does, another sister that is a glutton in just about everything , a sister that needs motivation to do even the easiest of tasks, another that will steal everything that isn’t bolted down and the other brother is one that is too damn much like his mother- wanting to do absolutely anything to get what he feels is his. They all live with their sins as if it was as essential as breathing. Meanwhile I do not indulge in it, at least not willingly.” At this time, his head to around, pale blue eyes lingered onto the resting woman. If it wasn’t for that, perhaps he would find some liking to some of them at least; at best, he didn’t wish to run a sword through any of them though who was to say when that could all change. Colden was becoming dangerously close to testing that line should he play his part in his mother’s demented game.

“Numbing yourself will only go so far. Trust me, I’ve done it for a century or two and it didn’t help. They will rise out, one way or another.” Right now he wished he had a bottle of whiskey to down, but that wouldn’t really help the matter either. The room, on the other hand, kind of was easing him bit by bit. It was certainly more healthier than drowning himself in alcohol. Her explanation stirred his attention to her. After a long moment of silence, he turned away again and closed his eyes. “No…it’s not stupid. I understand what you are saying. When one can’t even be safe inside their minds, they need something to keep them somewhat afloat and from drowning in the deep abyss. It seemed like only in combat did I channel myself into something other than pure anger. You want to feel free of the burden and not have to worry about the things that will come to plague you inevitably. If you don’t have something to hold on to or an outlet, then you will merely be a drifting piece of wood in the sea, swept continuous by it with no hope of going against it.”   
 
Steele turned himself around completely to face her and rested his head onto of one of his closed hands. “I am more than just wrath as surely as you are more than just the vessel of spirits all around you.”

“Colden is too much like our mother but he is still young enough to change still. I do believe that is why Xunatar is hopeful.”

Eldora tilting her head and smiled. “I think that’s why I ended up on Xunatar’s doorstep when he ascended. I have no other choice. I wouldn’t live long if I had ignored it. I could have already done it for as long as you have.” She tilted her head enough as she laid down on the pillows and smiled when he understood her. “I can’t go home to Arri and see the realm thing because of the Soul-Stream. This is the closest thing I have to home now.”

She looked into his blue eyes and tilted it. “I would like to believe that. I think for once I’ve found someone who can understand what its like. I was born after the time of the last Nizeva so there is no one I can relate to anymore. Perhaps though I have been searching in the wrong books, scrolls, and people. We sound much more alike than I could have imagined.”

She was musing as she closed her eyes and let out a yawn. “From the sounds of it we will be working together for a long time. I want to learn more of you Steele so we can understand more. The better we know each other the more we can work together. I doubt Cyprus will be the last time we shall have to join each other.” She planned on sticking around a long time.

“Xunatar tried to teach me why men and women spend so much time together.” She chuckled a bit. “I don’t fully understand it yet. He said it was weird a Rosenite didn’t. Am I that much different from my sister Lotus?” Her blue eyes looked up at Steele. “I’m not so sure.”

“Perhaps you are right. I have no doubt under my father’s guidance, he will be in far more capable hands than Cyprus’. All she will lead him towards will be death and decay.” The boy wasn’t as stupid as many thought, even though it was very easy to get caught in such a pitfall. All they would need to do was get him away from her clutches.

“I’d be certain to be careful. My father does things for his own accordance. Right now, your needs and his may coincide right now, but eventually he will call in all markers when it ceases to benefit you. Though perhaps it may be a good thing considering that you are among his clergy, but even so be careful, I suppose.” There truly no way of guessing what went on in the chaotic mind of the Lord of Lies. Even his own children weren’t safe from him misleading them if it proved to be entertaining for him.

Steele’s face nearly drop its stony look and for a moment, shock was evidently written across him. It wasn’t that she could relate to him that had drawn this out, but rather she wanted to learn even more about him. The warlord wasn't sure what she meant by that and already he had revealed a lot of his innermost thoughts to her. The man leaned back up and considered her request. “What is it that you wish to learn about me?” The question came out hesitantly from his lips, the words felt so foreign coming out from him that it shocked even himself.

If they were going to be around one another, it would be better to be on good terms, so it made sense to him. “I have nothing to hide, not after everything else I shared.” Heaven knows what sort of things Eldora wanted to know of him.

Steele glanced over to her with eyes softly narrowed; Xunatar’s teaching were often given with his own personal touches. When she continued on, his suspicions was starting to see more valid. But still with all that, she wasn’t understanding of the situation that men and women undergone. “I wouldn’t know; I never met her. If I had to guess though by the sort of woman that could captivate my brother, then surely you are different. But that’s nothing wrong. I am very different from Dante, by the luck of the gods.”

He was hesitant in speaking something that was on his mind, but soon the warlord broke the silence slowly. “What is it that you know and what you are having trouble understanding with the subject?”         

Eldora tilted her head and gave him a smile. “I will be careful. I am not so naive to believe everything that Xunatar promises me. For right now this is how I have to live Steele. For I will die if I leave too soon. Then I will most likely have to strike up a deal with Angela.”

She watched his face change for a few. She chuckled a bit and she could taste the hesitation coming off of him. “Everything that you haven’t told me already. I’ll tell you everything you want to know as well.”

When talking about her sister she tilted her head. “Lotus is part succubus maybe that is why Dante loves her so.” Love was a weird concept to Eldora but that was what she was still uncertain about. What made that so different from what Xunatar had shown her? Her face looked more concerned about it for a moment. Finally, she pushed herself up and got closer to Steele when he asked her.

“I can see everything Dante and Lotus do. Some things confuse me and I don’t watch because I want to. They made me.” She spoke of the spirits. “Xunatar showed me lust and that was similar to the beginning but now that isn’t how that is now.” She shook her head and stared at Steele. “The way they look at each other, the way they touch each other, it is very odd. I don’t understand it at all. Why do people need each other?” Eldora was frustrated and stared at him for the longest time.

“People who never needed anyone else suddenly have someone else. Lotus and Dante have each other now and it is odd to watch. Angela has Drae and she has never had anyone else. Would anyone ever see someone like me like that? Can I see someone like that? How would one do that?”

As long as she proved useful, Steele couldn’t really see any reason why Xunatar would cast her away to her demise. Then again, there was a lot that he could do that didn’t make sense until the end. While he didn’t trust every word or action his father took, he was at least certain enough to keep his children alive. The useful ones anyway. He didn’t worry about himself nor Colden in that regard. Dante would be protected since he was now the lord’s chosen Avatar and the others would be alright as well.

He actually had to ponder about what he could tell about himself. It was so strange to have someone want to know about him, even if it was because just so that they could work better together. “Uh, I suppose I can start. Met my mother a few times- she was an afflicted werewolf when my father met her. He hadn’t known at the time- he thought that she was a normal human and it helped that she couldn’t transform while pregnant but eventually he learned soon after my birth. I am the oldest male among the Sin children. As before, for the longest time, my sin overshadowed me at various times, and it alienated me from others. The only time I would have interactions with others was when I was fighting them. Even at a young age I was strong enough to kill, but I never took a life until my nineteenth summer. After that, it came easily for me.”

His mind trailed back to that night, of course the man had deserved his fate as far as he cared. “He had attempted to rob me and was ready to kill me when I refused. Afterwards, I saw the world as a place where you must do everything you can do to survive, and also that trust is hard to come by. Over the years I have gotten better with my temper and I occasionally lose it from time to time..”

He could only agree when she explained Lotus a bit more to him. That would have certainly been a treat for his brother and unlike many several other conquests, he had seen the woman more than once. Eldora looked troubled before she rose up and came close to him. Steele watched her with care before she started to go through her problem. Much of it he could see why she struggled trying to grasp the concept; much of it to him seemed like luck based. “What I’m guessing my father showed you and what you truly want to learn were two different things. We both know that. What you want to understand is the connection people can have. It’s beyond the physical pleasures; it's about just looking at the person and knowing that they feel different from anyone else to you. There is an understanding and a desire to simply be with them. It’s kinda hard to explain.” It wasn’t that he understood it fully; it was just things that he picked up on along the way as he lived. “It is said that there is someone for everyone. Perhaps you will find that someone that will care about you the way you’ve seen others do.” 

Eldora stared at him for the longest time as he told her his tale. She tilted her head at him as he finished and nodded a bit. They had different backgrounds and that was to be expected but she smiled a bit. “What is your favorite smell? Sound? Time of day? Do you like to read or paint?” She was looking for things that she had heard during her visions, things that made the utmost sense to her. These were little things. “If you answer me I’ll answer you.”

She thought about what Xunatar showed her and nodded at least partially. “He showed me one side of the coin I was looking for. The other side of the coin is what you are trying to explain to me now. From what I can gather IT is the same coin. It is just different based on how you feel towards another person.” She frowned a bit. “I doubt anyone could ever care for someone like me.”

She put her hand up to his face and cupped his cheek. “No one could ever love me. Have a connection with me. Be with me. I’m convinced they can’t unless they are dead. The dead are the only thing that truly understand me right now.” She was sad and it showed on her face. “They are the only ones who know my pain, my suffering, and why I am the way I am. I get annoyed easily at people and there are a few that I do not. You, Xunatar…. Dante stares at my sister way too much.” She laughed a bit.

“I could ask for you to care about me but I don’t think it works like that.” She mused lightly. After a while, she finally answered him like she told him she could. “My favorite smell is lavender mixed with mint, lightly but not overly. For some reason, it makes me calm enough to center myself. My favorite sound… is crickets at night and the gentle breeze that often comes with. My favorite time of day is dusk. I also know how to paint and I do it on occasion when my burden isn’t overbearing. I like to read but the voices in my head often distract me from it. I love reading old scrolls on fairy tales. Being able to see them happen in my head even if they are fake… and sometimes if they were real I get to see how they actually played out thanks to my powers.” She chuckled a bit and rolled on her side and propped her head up.

Her color was coming back a bit. “I miss the meadows of Sularia the most. They had fields of lavender but not the mint. I don’t know where the mint comes from. When I think of home… that’s where I am. I can’t ever go there ever again but in my mind, I am there when I am at peace during the night. When I meditate I am in those fields. Under the twin full moons… I think that was the last time I stood in them.” She looked lost for a moment as she tried to think back on her life.

“It feels so long ago… It has probably been decades now.” She chuckled. "My favorite flower isn't lavender it is called a Soul Twig. It is a blue flower… small like baby's breath. on a deep purple stem that grows near the Koschei Forest. I saw them once in a merchant's cart. I was in love with them but I can't ever go there and pick them. They bloom under the full moon. Stay alive for the next few weeks and die. I love them…"

Steele looked at her puzzled but then sighed as he gathered his thoughts together. “Hm…never really thought of that before. I guess my favorite smell is that of a roasting fire, like in a fireplace or campfire." He relaxed his shoulders a bit more, “The sounds of a summer night like crickets chirping. I mainly enjoy the evening hours and I prefer reading. Never had the talent to paint personally.” 

His eyes lingered towards hers and slowly he nodded as she seemed to grasp the bits he was telling her. His father seemed incapable of giving her what she wanted, and he was sure that she knew that as well. “Yes. Love and lust can be intertwined but they are not the same thing”, he offered before frowning a bit. “I am uncertain if that may be true or not. You may find that for yourself one day.” Steele would have gone on, but then he froze up once she touched him again. He hadn’t expected it but it…wasn’t completely unwanted. The woman was convinced that no one would ever love or care for her the way she had seen others do. When he thought about it, he pondered about himself. It was a worry that he went without for so long that it started to bother him a little. “Only if you don’t let yourself feel such things, then yes you will not be able to find it. What the others have may have been by luck or fate. It isn’t a simple matter. I believe it is said that attraction is the first step towards a relationship. If you want the person badly enough that when you so much as think about them, something stirs inside you.” Steele wasn’t the best at explaining this sort of thing. It was painfully obvious that this wasn’t his specialty.

“I wouldn’t rely on those like my father or Dante for something like that”, he shrugged it off. “Lust is strong with the both of them though Dante seems to be allured by your sister. He’s never known to stay with someone for too long before he met her..”

The request..it made him shy away a bit; the wolf didn’t favor being put in a vulnerable situation like this. He was a killer, a soldier and a destroyer and yet she asked him to care about her. “Apparently… you must of had a reason of asking me that though…”, he stated, his tone surprisingly soft as he stared at her for a few moments. But then she shifted gears and allowed him to take in her own answers to the question. Meanwhile he still was conflicted about this whole thing. He had went over eight centuries not having to worry about these things and now it seemed like she would have to draw that out in them.

It wasn’t fair.

He did take notice of her interest in these Soul Twigs flowers and how passionate she seemed about them. “That’s the sort of thing I speak of. If you can feel that way about someone the way you do about those plants, then it's basically the same thing. You need someone that can actually make you feel, Eldora.”

Sighing, Steele took her hand away from his face, but he kept onto it as he contemplated something. “I suppose I could do as you asked if you’d like. You may be one of the few whose company I don’t mind at all.” His hand squeezed at hers gently, despite it being from a normally ruthless demon.

Tilting her head Eldora nodded softly. That was one thing that she could agree on every time. She never stopped to think about the things she liked. It was more like she was always on the move and couldn’t stop herself… but she had loved painting since she was a girl well before the visions started.

The difference between lust and love was what was really confusing her. She had seen it happen before her very eyes and yet she couldn’t pinpoint the moment it started. It honestly terrified her that there was something she didn’t understand but she didn’t voice that matter. Eldora disliked overly different amounts of change. “I never said I wouldn’t let myself feel anything but until recently it was more of a survival thing. I don’t fancy wanting to die or gouge my own heart out.” She chuckled morbidly.

She didn’t reply when he said she had a reason for asking but her eyes nearly glimmered like Feeorin when he did. “People are more difficult than plants Steele. They have to find interest in you as well. I could love a plant from now until my death and it wouldn’t argue with me, hurt me, or any of the other dumb things that other people do. I want to feel but I don’t want to be destroyed. It is an interesting problem.”

Her blue eyes watched as his hand took hers away from his face. She was saddened by it because his face, no his whole body, was so warm to her. It felt good especially when her life essence was so weak. “I would like that but if you are accepting… then you must be curious as well.” She squeezed his hand back and smiled. For someone who was supposed to be wrath incarnate, he was a gentle soul sometimes. Maybe not all the time but right now she could see it.

She pulled on his hand and pushed herself up with her free one so she could meet him half way. It was gentle as she pressed her lips against his cheek. “Lay with me and talk. It’s getting exhausting to sit up like this.” She laid back down on the bed and stretched as she turned her eyes away from him for a second. “Is there anything that you want to know Steele? You must be curious about me.”

He wasn’t too sure whether or not he was the right person that could be teaching her such things. Steele wasn’t the most emotional person aside from his temper at times. In fact, he was rather cold and distant, but then again so was Eldora. It wasn’t very often that he would expose himself to anyone, especially a complete stranger that he had just met only a couple of hours ago. But it sort of felt like it had been longer in his mind.

“Yes, that is half the battle. I suppose you are right. Otherwise, we would have more of the sort of people that your…pursuer is like running amok.” That was the part of the lesson that was harder for some to grasp- that unrequited love was a fool’s path. It was something he didn’t even bother going through because he had been so focused on controlling himself and distancing himself from other people. He could understand from where she was coming from really. “When it comes down to it, there are chances one must take when it comes to love. Even if the other expresses no interest or refuses you, then it is said that’s better than being left in the dark to wonder what if.”

“Perhaps that’s what is alluring about the idea of having someone. The time and effort of winning someone over. And even then, it's foolish to think that they can’t hurt you. In fact, they will be the ones to cause you both the greatest pleasure and pain. They will know you, nearly everything if it is true. Your strengths…your weaknesses…” Perhaps that’s not what she wanted to hear, but it was bits and pieces of what he had observed in his lifetime. A lot of it was not from experiences of his own but of that from others. The half demon glanced onto their joined hands and couldn’t even muster the thought of prying himself away from her. Why? Why was he behaving like this? “…I guess… I can’t say that I never had been curious about it.” Steele never had that sort of thing before. Tryst? He had the occasional one in comparison to his brother, but for Dante it had been about conquests. His brother on the other hand, it was satisfy a need. But even then there was a void left in him, and for the longest time he was unsure as to what that could be if his carnal needs were taken cared for.

He finally gave her a nod to show that he was willing to help with this. But what he wasn’t expecting was the kiss upon his cheek. There didn’t seem to be an ulterior motive behind it and he looked wided eyed for a moment before he relaxed and slid himself onto her bed to join right beside her. One arm wrapped around her back and met with her shoulder, closing the space between the two of them. Now it was his turn to look up towards the ceiling and she was the one that wished to know his own questions. “I do know a lot about you in such a short time. Is there anything at all that I had missed?  If anything I wish to know what you think about this whole thing. Do you honestly think you are incapable of love?”

After some time, he leaned onto his side and faced her, “I don’t think you won’t find someone to love you. Despite it all, you are capable of being understood, though it may be by those that have gone through similar ordeals in their lives.” His eyes drifted about Eldora’s form. While he hadn’t admitted it out loud or recognized it until then, but she was indeed gorgeous from head to toe. And she was pretty intelligent and had a good head on her shoulders, no matter how strange she may seem. No everyone could appreciate that, certainly so.
“Do you have any goals in your life? Fears? Desires? What is you weren’t plagued by these spirits and was free to live your life? What would you do?”

He pondered what if about his fate plenty of times, but he assumed that not much would have changed for him. What was his own answers for such questions? One had come to mind, though he was hesitant in speaking anything of it to her. But he preferred to show to her then and without a warning, he leaned towards her and kissed her lips briefly. Drawing himself back, he let the taste of her lips linger, her scent fresh in his nose. His heart raced a bit, more so than any tryst he had been with. Perhaps because he didn’t feel anything other than lust before. “Sorry, I just wanted to see what it was like..”, he said a bit shyly.