What is a man to do when he learns he does not actually exist?

Sebastian had felt a great rift grow between himself and his lover, Bryony. It was not just the physical distance after her departure, but her incessant belief that all could be well. This, coupled with his unyielding nature had caused the emotional chasm to grow. There was a dying entity that bound him to this world, that wished to inhabit any possible offspring he may have. This would solidify his existence…but at what cost? The thing had shown itself to be nothing but malign, only appearing benevolent when its own interests were at stake. What was it capable of, if it were unleashed upon the world?

Angela and Bryony both seemed confident that it could be contained and dealt with at a later date. Sebastian was not so sure.
He had done much soul searching since Bryony had left. The thing he was bound to was understandably, though eerily, silent. Even his sleep was not plagued by its usual visitations. In fact, he had no dreams at all, most nights. He often lay awake at night in Bryony's room, restless, and molding and hugging the bedding to his body. It was still perfumed with her scent.

Not content to simply wait at the Sundering Gardens for his oracle's return, Sebastian took his leave, and headed for Adeluna. Before this, he had written a letter for Bryony to be sent by either courier or a carrier bird of the temple; whichever would know how to find her faster. He'd a large sum of coin set aside from his work, as he had not been out in the world actively spending it as he made it for some time now. Renting a skiff from the docks in Adeluna at dawn, Sebastian sailed out to Apoy island on the calm morning sea.

"Dearest Bryony," the note began.
The boat gently rocked in the waves as it left the docks. The morning sun was just beginning to peek over the horizon. Sebastian hugged his overcoat tightly about his frame as the frigid breeze filled the sails.

"I am lost. More so than I ever have been in my life. I have no bearings, no hope, and no words. I know only that I miss you by my side. I don't want this to be the end of things. Please meet me at the place where we both found each other."


Sebastian had become overly sentimental and abundantly attentive to small details. He was already a detail-oriented person, but now he appreciated every minute thing life had to offer. He found himself gazing into the water, and to the sky - to the gulls overhead. The sun reflected in his somber autumn gaze as he watched it rise, and spot Apoy in the distance. He drew his coat ever tighter as the wind picked up, blustering through his mane of dark hair. Shivering, and closing his eyes, Sebastian smiled to himself. He felt fully and undeniably alive. Perhaps with an intensity now that was previously unknown to him.

Landing and tying off the skiff, Sebastian removed his boots and his coat, leaving them in the boat. Relishing in the sensations of the wind stinging his bare skin, and the sand between his toes, he meandered from the shore towards the hot springs, tucked away in the thicket of palms to the South.

Bryony had been hiding out in Arri for a while. She had watched Angela die and yet she couldn’t make herself go back to Sebastian. He would be fine she told herself. She sat there in the vault banging her head off a column. She wanted to go to him but it was hard to know he was choosing to die instead of just being. She took deep breaths as she held herself close to the post, she was trying to ground herself so she could make the important decisions.

“Lady Bryony, you have a message.” The words struck her deeply as her knees buckled and she fell. She half expected it to be of Sebastian’s passing. It was something she couldn’t deal with. However, when the letter found its way to her hands she took a few sharp breaths and nodded. 

“Find someone to cover the vault for a few days please,” she left without a reply. She found her way to Apoy easily enough. Her robes, the same as always, were dust covered from her time trying to figure out what to do about her situation. Her dark hair was wild but when the wind breeze blew it around… It almost looked majestic.

Her blue eyes darted everywhere looking for him but she too found herself working towards the hot springs. When she found him she stopped dead and just watched him for a few moments. Her knees were shaking and it was clear that her decision to stay away had been painful in the worst way. She was at a loss for words and for the first time perhaps since their meeting she was quiet as she approached. She wrapped her arms around him and put her forehead on his shoulder. There were no tears as she kissed his shoulder, his neck, and finally his lips before caressing his face softly.

She was sniffling but there were no tears as if she was holding back. She put her forehead to his and shook her head softly. “Please don’t leave me. I’m lost too.” She was lost without him.

Gooseflesh arose, and Sebastian shivered. It was not the cold that caused it, but the spark as Bryony touched him. His fingers wove through her dark tresses, and traced down her back. The way he touched her spoke volumes. It was mingled with base need, but the key notes were pure, soulful, and apologetic. Tracing every muscle, and following every curve, Bryony was the world he lived in at this moment in time. She was the beach, and the sand between his toes. She was the sun retreating below the horizon. She was the scent of the palms, and the warmth of the springs as it surrounded their naked bodies. Emotions of their reunion were so all-consuming, the removal of clothing to be closer together was autonomous.

Sebastian buried his face against Bryony's neck and continued to idly touch, speaking softly. "Knowing of Angela's passing and rebirth helped alter my path, among other things" he sighed. "I was present at the temple for a time, but I did not witness anything first-hand. Only through visions. I wanted to search for you, but I wasn't sure where to start. The irony isn't lost on me, trust me. I can find anything for other people, but I don't know how to find the only person I want. When you want to be lost, you know how to stay that way."

His caress found its way over the curve of her butt, though the felt intention remained innocent as he spoke. "I'm not going anywhere. I don't know what the visions I've had truly mean, but I would like to believe that I am rooted here strongly enough that I have become more than just a passing dream, or a visitor from another existence, here at the behest of some cosmic intelligence."

It could very well have been the light reflecting oddly off the shimmering pool, but Sebastian's eyes did not appear to have any of their tell-tale autumnal glow. They looked almost like…mercury; though they were no less expressive. Perhaps even more so.
He met Bryony's shifting oceanic gaze, and leaned in to softly kiss her. His hearth thundered, and his body melted against hers when she returned the affection. Easily lost in the oracle's embrace, and the feel of her full lips dancing with his, he pulled away slightly to playfully suckle at her lower lip and then look at her once more.

"We will figure things out together. My story is not just my own anymore. I'm not sure what part of me didn't want to accept that, but it has passed."

She sunk into the spring with him after they got undressed. Her arms went up over him and she began to pet his hair softly. She leaned over and kissed his exposed ear and chuckled a bit. “For a while, I was in Tarishitar, I was breaking people out of prison… believe it or not, I was in Arri the rest of the time. Hiding underground trying to be mad at you… If anything I am stubborn. I wanted to come back to you but I was scared.”

His hands warmed her up to him as he settled over her rear. She gave him a smile and nodded. “You are more than a passing dream to me Love. You always have been since the first time we met.” No one could or would love her the way Sebastian did. That’s why it had broken her heart so much to hear him reject her idea. She hadn’t wanted to watch him waste away though if he would have asked she would have come back. Her want to be with him was too strong to deny him such a request.

Her ocean eyes caught his mercury and she found herself lost in them. They were different. She couldn’t describe what made them a good type of different but she knew she liked it. She chuckled as he suckled on her lips. “We will figure it out, Love. One step at a time. This is our story. All three of ours.” She made sure he knew of her intentions. “If you want that.” She tilted her head at him and smiled. “I would imagine that Angela has been ever so patient with us waiting to hear what we want… So…” She nudged softly with her lips and smiled. “We can ask her to help us. It took a long time to conceive the first time. I would rather not die before I do it again.” It was more of a laugh at her longevity then anything.

She put her forehead to his before kissing him gently once more. “I need you in my life, Sebastian. Whatever happens, we’ll figure it out. I just can’t lose you not to something like this.” Her ocean eyes were said as she kissed him again.

Pulling herself away for a moment she put her hands together. “Angela, Mother, please answer my prayers.” It was the sure way to make sure Angela heard her. When Angela didn’t say anything back Bryony repeated her and repeated some more until finally a booming voice.

“I heard you the first time. Must I answer you?” Bryony made a cheesy grin at the disembodied voice. “Keep it up and it’ll be triplets.” The smile faded and there wasn’t almost a don’t you dare look on Bryony’s face. “Thought so… The fertility blessing will last for the rest of the night.” The voice faded.

“I don’t think I could handle triplets no matter how much I love you.” She laughed a bit as she hugged herself to him. Her eyes were full of love and she found herself kissing him again. They knew they were to have a daughter but now all that was left was to make her. “And you did tell me you weren’t so shabby at the parts before the baby,” she reminded him of what he said to her the first time they made love. She teased him softly with her lips before they proceeded to sink down into the water like their very first time.

The morning light soon became the evening light as they made sure that their daughter would surely be conceived. After their lovemaking, she curled up with him and gently held his hands to her stomach. She was in thinking mode now. “You know… we don’t have a name for her.” They had time but the oracle wasn’t one to ever take very long on serious matters. She put her head on his shoulder and smiled up at him. She didn’t have to fear to lose him anymore at least to an entity dying.  

"There is nothing I want more. I have been wrapped up in the past for….far too long. I want a future." 

Sebastian felt different in many ways. First and foremost, for the first time he felt wholly and truly free. He felt like he was becoming more and more himself, if that made any sense. All of these memories of other existences that he had seemed so distant now. They were no longer a deep and visceral part of his being. It was liberating, but at the same time…terrifying. Perhaps the entity had truly taken its leave of him, and left him with only this life that he had lived. This was not to say that the other memories did not serve to shape who he was just as much, however - while they lasted.

Passion and attentiveness had always been commonplace when it came to loving Bryony; but this time carried a focus that was consuming and electrifying. Sebastian never really realized how distracted his mind and heart were with various matters, mostly concerning events centered around himself. The token care-free nature he seemed to possess had always been just that. It was a cleverly-constructed front. He wore it like a suit of armor. It was cast aside now, in these intimate moments with Bryony. She had seen him vulnerable before, but that had come from a place of despair and brokenness.

The transformation was more than just internal. It was subtle, but Sebastian's features were slightly different too. Not radically so like his eyes, but it was noticeable.

Sebastian idly caressed Bryony's belly while his mind drifted. "I like Hazel," he suggested after only a few seconds of consideration.
"When I was growing up, there was an orchard on the edges of our fields. Not very large, but my father paid special attention to that edge of the property. My mother loved hazelnuts. He'd planted a winding pathway lined with cherry blossom trees. I remember walking through flurries of petals to go pick them in the Fall. It was…beautiful."
He smiled in fond reminiscence, then chuckled. "It's strange. I had all of these memories I could talk about, and none of them felt real. I never really knew which story was who I really was. Right now, my life here in Canelux is all I can think of."