Dear Alex,

Six months ago we had our hearts ripped out. A bright kid with an amazing football talent and almost off to college took a shotgun out into the park and killed himself. We miss you. Nathan and Carly miss you. Whenever I see those kids somehow a picture of you is always behind them watching on. I wish we knew what was happening inside your mind but the truth is we will never know. that's painful. We've known each other for almost 6 years now. I held Nathan when he was born and loved him regardless of what chromosomes he was missing and I know you loved him to. He helped your mom set up your grave for Christmas Bud. He's getting so big.. He finally started to talk and he knows sign language so well. You would be super proud. Carly Beth looks just like your mom, holy cow, and she has entered a goth phase since you passed. It will take time but everyone's hearts will fondly remember you be able not to hurt anymore. 

They made a football scholarship in your name. You inspired a lot of people. I still can't believe you're gone. I hoped and prayed (something I never really do) that it wasn't you who had killed yourself in that park but… it was. I wish we knew you were hurting. You were only 17.. We miss you.

Unfortunately i haven't the knowledge of the previous happening in this specific event, might someone who knows a bit more about this fill me in? (And please don't find this as a lack of sympathy, i just haven't any idea of whats going on.)

My mom had a friend named Julie. She was pregnant and we became good family friends with her. She had a drug problem in her past (heroin). So.. When she found out Nathan(just before he was born) was missing his 18th chromosome she almost lost herself. No she did lose herself. As soon as he was born she fell back into the rough… It broke our hearts but she got her kids taken away from her and they lived with her mom while she went to a half way house. Took her a while but they got her clean and all the kids got to live with her. I dunno what happened but one day her oldest Alex took a shotgun down to the park in town here and shot himself in the head.

I didn't want to write it on facebook because well Julie can see it. He was such a bright kid. A loving soul. I just don't know what happened. He always sat down and helped Nathan learn sign language since he couldn't talk for the longest time. So even though Julie got clean she had to spend a lot of time with Nathan making sure he grew up as normal as possible even with his birth defects. She is a single mom (kids dad is a royal a**) My mom ran him out of town and almost over.


There we go. That was the beginning of last year's school year.

A friend of Julie's wrote this poem in her point of view.

I won’t forget that solemn night
For as long as I draw breath
That night God called you home
And from my home you left
I wasn’t always perfect 
Nobody knows that more than me
But you made me much closer to
The woman I fought to be
I still see your face and your handsome smile
I hear your voice and laugh
Sometimes it helps and sometimes not
These reminders of the past
But now the past is all we have
And I won't let that go
The special times that we both shared
Memories that only we would know
So I won’t forget that solemn night
But with a heavy heart I can say
As I stare into the starry skies 
I still see you clear as day