[Close to 1500 years ago, this journal will detail Angela's life from age 11 to current]

The ink is sloppy, almost as if the person writing this hasn’t quite gotten a handle on just how they want to write. It’s almost as if the calligraphy on the page is being used to define her. She changes the styles of the letters as if she hasn’t decided just how she wants to write them.

Today was really weird. Papa said that all Rosenites should decide what they want to do with their lives. Cathrine has already decided to go train her archery skills. It’s not fair that I’m getting so much pressure on me. She is always such a bully when I don’t make a decision right away. Mama says that I should ignore her and that maybe it’s just because she is oldest that she acts this way.

Tamerie had all the papers on everything that I could do… I could go into the army… or the Academy… or lots of things! Tamerie says that I have a good eye for alchemy and healing. I’m not sure how she knows that or if I really do but I guess I should go to Auzial’s Academy for the Gifted. It sounds like it will be hard and I am scared but Papa says that whatever I do I will be good at it. I think that parents always say that though.

I went to see Grandma and see what she would think and she gave me the same answer that Mama and Papa did. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to decide on. Maybe I’ll just give in and go to the Academy like everyone wants? It would at least make it so I’m not anywhere near Cathrine and her big head.

Actually, that doesn’t sound half bad… I’ll go to the Academy FAR away from Cathrine and her stupid archery. I'll tell Tamerie right now!

-Angela, Age 11

The Academy is something else entirely! I had no idea there were so many plants and animals! It's really hard but I really like it a lot. I've been learning with Master Vivianne. She is all the way from Adeluna. ADELUNA. I've heard about that place. It's one of the largest cities on all of Canelux. We get ships in and hear stories all the time from bards who used to come to the castle. Maybe I can go to Adeluna to?

Speaking of people not from Arri, there is this annoying kid who comes to visit Leanne, my roommate at the Academy, her family is from Egjora. He does nothing but pick on me and making fun of my hair! I hear Leanne call him Wyatt. Apparently, he's her older brother. According to Leanne, he is three years older than me. He's just a big stupid jerk! Maybe I'll mess up on one of my potions and make sure to aim it at him so it hits him in his stupid face. He was also making fun of my ears! I can't help that his aren't so pointy!

I am getting moved to the class two grades above mine, in better news. Apparently, Tamerie was right about my gift. I didn't know not many people could do what I can. Master Vivianne says that not many people can weigh alchemy ingredients without a scale or even memorize the way I can… Things are getting harder now. They are giving us books that aren't in Arriese. They said that it's good for healers and alchemists to know how to read different languages. Even though I'm gifted with alchemy and herbalism… I don't think I can do that. It gives me a headache… So I think I'm just going to memorize what all the ingredients do instead. I can just put all of them together and see what their reactions are and do it that way! They will never know I can't read the stuff they have been giving us! At least… I hope.

-Angela, Age 12

I didn't think it would hurt as badly as it did. I've never cried so much in my entire life… Today they came and got me. I had no idea what was going on. I've been at the Academy for two years now. What would the royal guard want with me? That was my main question for everything. I should have screamed and yelled until they told me. We were taken deep below the castle into the catacombs of the Oracle. I've never seen so many bodies. It was creepy but the worst part came after all that.

They called it the Himira stone. A powerful star artifact that would be split up and implanted into each of the princesses. There's only Cathrine and me for right now but my parents told them that they planned on more children. I watched as they cut the stone with some bizarre magic. Mama and Papa told us not to be scared and that it would help us. They wanted us to be powerful. They didn't want us to struggle and eventually wanted one of us to take over Sularia. It would require power that we didn't have… I wish I would have run.

They cut into me and placed the stone in. That wasn't what hurt though… The stone itself hummed with a massive power as it tore through me. I've never felt something like that. I've never seen Cathrine cry but she was too. Papa had Mama in his arms as she begged them to make the mages stop. Papa calmed her down and told her that we were strong enough for this. I can't remember what else was said… I blacked out after that. I woke up in my room at the academy not long after. 

Leanne was there and she looked really worried. She said that I had these black splotch marks on me for a little bit. I know what those are… It means my magic was very low but I hadn't used it… Has the stone made me more powerful for real? The splotches were gone before I woke up thankfully and Leanne took me outside. Unfortunately, what was a relaxing moment in the gardens turned into chaos as her brother showed up.

What an idiot. He had nothing good to say but it wasn't as cruel as he used to be. Mainly I just sat there and watched him stare me. I wish if he had something nasty to say he would just go ahead and say it already. It was like he was beating around the bush and I absolutely hate that. Boys are stupid. 

Hopefully, this pain goes away though… I'm tired of hurting from the stone.

-Angela, Age 13

I can't really describe exactly what happened these past couple years. It was crazy! I did exactly what I said I was going to do. I've memorized everything that I could. I began to advance so much further than the rest of my class. They moved me up again and I found myself in a class with people far older than I was. There were whispers that my ranking in Sularia was what was helping me. I tend to be quiet in my classes but I began to make sure they knew that I was there because I could do it and not because Papa and Mama helped me.

I was asked to join a group of people… They are known as the Auzial League. They are some of the most talented alchemists and healers in all of Sularia. I decided to accept their offer and join them. With their help, I've learned more than I ever would have if I just stayed with the Academy. Speaking of which I graduated the Academy not too long ago. I'm the youngest member to ever do so. Most of the people I graduated with are in their thirties. Mama and Papa said it is an honor to do so. Tamerie was really proud of me too. She was an excellent teacher while I was home but I am glad she told me to come here.

That's not the only thing… Wyatt never did leave me alone. It's not so bad now, actually not too bad at all. He was only doing those things because he likes me. As corny as that sounds. He was persistent with me and that was more aggravating than him pushing me around when we were younger. I gave in and began to court him, if only to make him shut up. It's oddly not so bad. He is really supportive and caring. He lets me know if I make a mistake I shouldn't have and he is there to tell me how proud he is when I do something good. It's just really weird and I don't know how I feel about it right now. I don't feel weird enough not to court him though. I like it and him.

We went out to battle for the first time, my group that I graduated with. There was a battle with slavers and we were reckless as a new group of healers. Friends that I had made, who were much older than I am, died. I had always said I would always help those that were in need but I felt completely helpless. It was Cathrine that saved me from being hit. She has mellowed out so much since we've gotten older. She is a lot quieter and really only speaks to tell you what she thinks of the situation. Her arrows never miss. I just wish that… my friends were still here. Wyatt has been comforting me a lot… I don't know what I would do without his comfort right now. 

Hopefully, the only way to go is up now. I don't want any more death even though it is inevitable. It's a childish wish but… I wish it nonetheless.

-Angela, Age 15

The writing is more defined. The calligraphy is smooth and made in a way that defines the girl writing it. It is curvy and elegant.

We're nearing my seventeenth summer. It's been… a little odd. Not in a bad way. Wyatt and I decided to get married after we found out that we had conceived a child. Gods he was ecstatic about it. He's hoping she doesn't have any of 'dumb human' features. I am a bit sad that when I asked him if I could turn him so we could spend forever together that he declined me. He said he has a will to see the heaven of his own people. I had almost forgotten that we don't believe in the same things. 

Our daughter Lyre wasn't born too long ago. Wyatt had been hard at work making our own little home. We decided we didn't want to stay in the city so he was building up a small cottage out near the lake. He thought the lavender fields would be good for the baby. He did a good job, he barely got hurt and he gave me this silly look everytime I had to heal something he did. He wouldn't let me help with the construction of the cottage mainly because I was pregnant but it is very small. Just big enough for us and Lyre. We're excited about it all. I've been helping out with teaching at the Academy now.

Speaking of that… Something odd happened. I was in the alchemy laboratory when this odd little man came in. I couldn't place the scent that came from his skin and I couldn't remember where I had seen his face before. It was so familiar and yet I didn't know where I had seen it before. He told me that he wanted an answer to Komiteia. That there was something evil spreading and he was hoping that I would be able to come up with an alchemical solution instead of a magical one. That makes sense since the Void Storms that Parvpora produce would disable any magic if they were hit by it.

That wasn't what was odd about the request. Simply put, the ingredients we have at our disposal were not strong enough. It would take godly magic to make such a thing possible. I told him that and he told me not to worry about it! The man, I thought, was crazy and so I told him in detail the ingredients and the properties of those ingredients that would need to change in order for such a barrier to work. It didn't take him long after a moment of deep thought to get me the very things that I had described. I don't know who this person is… but they were able to do the impossible. 

As I promised I made the batches of the alchemical solutions that he asked for. I made enough that they wouldn't have to worry for centuries and according to this man… It worked. I don't know who he is. I don't think I want to know. What he did was impossible. What I helped with should have been impossible. Even now as I write this, I am haunted by that man's face. Who is he? Why did he want me to do it? Why?

-Angela, Age 16

Water marks on the page indicate crying. The ink is smudged in places.
What the hell have I done? What… is even happening right now? This is impossible. This isn't fair. Why? What the hell did they do to deserve that?

Gods I'm a monster. 

It was a normal night for us. Lyre had a hard time sleeping so we stayed up until we could finally put her down for sleep. It was just a regular… a regular night. At least I thought so. My mind was at peace with everything. We had a perfect life. We had the perfect little girl. Everything was fine… So why?

It began in my dreams. I had never witnessed such destruction and anger as I had in that moment. I filled with rage and a sadness that I can't quite define. At least at the time I couldn't. I understand it so well right now. I felt this power rush through me and in my raging nightmare, I must have let all the power come out. Our little cottage came down like it was nothing.

I spent hours shifting through the rubble. I found them where they had been asleep… I couldn't even recognize Wyatt. I was crying so hard that I just used all the magic I could summon at that point. Nothing was helping. He was gone and it took me just a little more time to realize that I didn't hear any crying from Lyre. One of the support pillars had come down right over her crib. There was no way to even attempt to bring her back. She was so mangled… Gods what have I gone.

Then it came to me. A man just like before. He looked at the wreckage and he told me that I had been chosen. That he was the Voice. The mythological tree that chooses the gods. That I would become one of his gods… no, that I already was. I held onto Lyre's mangled body and screamed at him. I hadn't wanted this. If this was the power he had given me then it was his fault my baby and husband was dead.

He just let me yell at him and soon I was swallowed whole into a pocket dimension… This was all of my own. The area was so dark. The dead and decaying were all around me. I would be Lady Death, or so the people would call me. I have Lyre with me… I'm not going to let her disappear… I want to remind myself that I am a monster. Never again. Nothing could ever quell this seething rage I have towards myself and this Voice.

-Angela, Age 17