[This thread takes place after the Triune Event but before the Soul-Stream event]

Her heart was still pounding in her chest as she left the main room of the castle. It had been a good performance that much she was sure. Justice was still bowing and thanking her mother for the opportunity… However, his scent was stuck in her nose. She couldn’t get it out and it was intoxicating to her. It was just like the time they had danced and how her heart couldn’t stop its rapid beat.

Pushing her hair out of the way Holly made it into the courtyard of the castle. The water fountain noise hit her ears first as she watched the sun shimmer off the running water. “Why?” Why was fate so cruel… He didn’t need to see her. She was an abomination. She would hold him back.

Her hand moved to her heart and she calmly moved into the streets of Sularia. It wasn’t hard to see her as it looked more like she was a plague. The main Sularian inhabitance moved away from her like she was a disease. That was to be expected. She had committed taboo and she was no longer allowed to be part of their society. Justice just needed to stay away from her. She made her way towards the Red Court to pack her things. There was no place for her at home anymore.

Not the festivals. Not her family. Not love. There was nothing and it made her heart hurt.

Justice had gotten caught up at Red Manor speaking with Lord Drae and Lady Angela, but had not been ignorant of Holly's quiet leaving. His delay speaking with her family, however, had given her quite the head start. So when he inquired after her whereabouts, one of the servant girls told him that she had been seen leaving the manor with some belongings. 

"Why would she leave like that?" he asked. The servant girl gave him a look. "You don't know? She committed a taboo act. I know she is Lady Angela's daughter, but she doesn't belong among us," she explained. 

"What?" Justice asked, incredulously. He didn't stay for any more chatting before he was hurrying out of the manor and out into the town. He had just found Holly again. He wasn't in a hurry to go and lose her again. He wanted the chance to actually get to know her. 

Finding her wasn't terribly difficult. Simply mentioning her name had sent people pointing in her direction, and there had been plenty who had seen her and moved to avoid her. He did finally catch up to her as she was leaving the gates of Sularia. 

"Holly! Holly wait!" he called out as he came up behind her and grabbed her hand. "Don't leave."

Holly was thinking of the places she could go where she could find peace once more. Sularia was nothing but hurt anymore and all the healing that Hiromi had worked so hard on giving her was slowly being peeled back. Layer by layer her sadness was returning. It wasn’t the loss of Naota that was killing her, it was the loss of her people. She was truly alone now.

Her silver eyes went wide as she heard her name being called by that familiar voice. She sucked a breath in as he grabbed her hand like in all the great romance books. It must be a mistake, her mind yelled it over and over again as her silver eyes turned to his. “Justice…” Finally, the breath left her lungs as she spoke his name and it was clear she had been holding her breath. Her hand was actually gripping his.

“Justice, I can’t stay here any longer. I just don’t belong… It’s bad if you are seen with me.” She choked out. Had she made a mistake? Was he the one she should have waited for? Her heart beat loudly as she watched him and suddenly all of her emotions were frozen. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea if you talk with me.”

"What are you talking about, Holly?" Justice asked as he pulled her around and made her look at him. "I know you committed some taboo act, but why should it make a difference if I want to see or talk to you?" he asked her, his question sincere and kind. His silver-gray eyes were gentle as he held her hand. He had to admit this was like something out of a bard's story, but what better way was there than to live it first hand. 

"I waited to see you again for five years… I know that's not a lot of time for a Rosenite, but for someone living a mortal's life… that is a long time," he told her. "Don't take away the chance to actually get a chance to know you…"

“It is bad business for a bard of your talent to be seen with a nobody like myself. You could lose reputation in Sularia and I don’t want to watch that happen to you.” She let her voice fill with concern as he pulled her around to him. “I just don’t want my cursed life to be negative on your own.” She had lost her fight to live even after all the trouble of getting her woke up. She had to leave this place.

For a minute her mouth hung open as she began to get upset. “FIVE YEARS NOT A LONG TIME?!” She yelled at him. “I lost five years of my life over a man that will NEVER love me. I was a fucking idiot and I was lost. My heart was shredded so I committed a taboo because of my misery and not a damn person came to save me for five years. He was guilt-tripped into coming and getting me only to throw me aside. I would have died in that tomb.” There were tears now as she watched Justice.

“You aren’t the only one who lives like a mortal just because we live long lives doesn’t mean we forget how short others are.” She wiped her eyes and stared at him. “But if you want to talk to me it can’t be in the main city.” She was willing to give him that much.

"A bard of my talent has a reputation that stands on its own regardless of who I associate with, and I can assure you that I have associated with worse," he said giving her a charming look. "You aren't cursed, Holly," he insisted. He didn't expect her to blow up at him about the concept of time. Despite her anger and sadness, he did not let go of her hand. 

When she conceded that she would speak to him, but outside the main city, he gave her a soft smile and walked several feet in front of her to officially cross out of the city. He stood there and extended his hand to her. 

"You know… I never knew what happened to you," he told her as his boots kicked up dust from the edge of the desert. "I went back to the Festival the next year… I looked for you. I asked everyone. No one had seen you," he said. "You say no one went to look for you… I would have… If I had known, I would have gone to get you out," he told her. "I know it doesn't make a difference now, but, you don't have to be alone now."

Why? Why was he being so gentle with her? She did not deserve it. She had messed up. Together they walked and her eyes watched him trail ahead of her. He had so much faith that she would follow him. For a moment she thought about running away from him. Her hand twitched as she watched him hold out his hand to her. She took a rather deep breath as she laid her hand in his.

The heat of the desert surrounded them at full blast. The sun beat down on them and Holly felt dizzy for a moment. She bit her lip rather hard until she split it and looked away from him. How did she go about explaining Eshari to him? “If it had been you Justice instead of him… Nothing would have happened the way it did.” Her voice was soft as she took a seat in the grassed edge. She patted the seat next to her.

“It was so stupid… Naota… Well, he loved me he did. I think he did. We were happy there for a bit as she traveled together. He has deep issues with vampires but it never got brought up about a Rosenites connection to them. So when he found out he went irate. He was angry. I completely lost it and I did something stupid.”

She pulled her legs up to her body and put her head on her knees. “Eshari is what we call the Eternal Sleep. It in a lot of ways is suicide and not a lot of people come back from it. Women who cannot deal with the Rosenite lifestyle commit it. It is considered taboo. Rosenites get a second chance at life here in this city and to throw that away… Those who wake up are considered on their third chance and that is unacceptable. My mother tries but even she knows she cannot change an entire populations views. Maybe in a few decades they will be comfortable for me but it is still fresh in their minds that I messed up.”

Her silver eyes looked into his gray eyes. “Even if you would have come for me… Naota had the cure for it. Eshari is committed with a unique poison and the antidote is given to the person the Eshari was committed over. Most of the times the women who commit it destroy the antidote. They are too scared to go through with suicide but Eshari seems the easier way out. I just wanted to dream maybe there it would be happy. I was absolutely destroyed. I was so stupid to throw my life away over it but it was almost like I couldn’t control myself. It just happened before I understood what I was doing.”

Still, she watched him. “You say I don’t have to be alone anymore… What do you mean Justice? I can’t just stay with you and your sister. You can’t take me in like a lost puppy.” Still, he came to find her after all this time. “Why did you follow me out here? Any man who was stood up would have avoided the woman who did it. Wouldn’t they?”

She took his hands in hers and brought them over to her. She had him feel her hips and her waist. How bony she was. How thin she was from not eating. “I’m going to be a lot of work Justice. I still can’t get myself to eat right. I’ve lost my fire.”

Justice listened quietly and sat down beside her. He had heard about Eshari, in quiet hushed tones during his periodic yearly visits to Sularia. He knew the stigma that came with it, which explained the way people spoke of her when he had gone looking for her. He looked at her wistfully and slowly shook his head. 

"Not all Rosenites have had their second chance," he muttered softly. "I know general consensus is that after the wars and Sularia became powerful and safe that was considered their second chance… but those of generations who came later, it isn't fair to say that the second chance granted to their ancestors should apply to them. It suggests that no one is allowed redemption after that one event," he said as he gently put a hand on Holly's shoulder. "People like you deserve better than that," he insisted. 

He chuckled when she suggested that she couldn't just stay with him and Rizka. 

"Of course not, you are much cuter than any puppy," he said with a broad smile. "And why not? If you can't stay in Sularia, why not travel with Rizka and I? We come back to Sularia roughly every year, so you would still be able to visit. There is that at least. If you can't stay here then you can travel with us and make visits back," he suggested. "There are worse things than traveling around with me and my sister," he said. "There won't be a lot of room, and not much privacy, but you'll be able to do what you love," he said. 
"You didn't stand me up," he said with a shake of his head. "I'm sure you would have been there, if circumstances had been different," he said, giving her a small smile. When she took his hand and pressed it against her ribs, he looked confused and shocked. However, when he felt the bones beneath her clothes, his face fell. 

"Holly…" he said softly. He pulled his hand away from her ribs and stood up. He offered her a hand to stand up. "It seems to me that all you need is someone to help reignite that flame," he told her. "Come with me and Rizka. Go on the road as bards should. We aren't Rosenites, so there would be no stigma attached to your traveling with us. Even if you are cursed, I think I have enough luck for the three of us," he said. "What do you say?"